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Old 04-19-2017, 04:47 AM
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New but been lurking

I've been reading the forum for five years and well I figured it was time I joined. I guess eventually ill share my story,

It prett much is about the same as others except I'm older than most posters here and after a lot of soul searching decided to stay with my AH.


I'm now into the caregiving role. So I guess I chronicle that and at some point share why I stayed. Most people disagree with my choice and that's why I really haven't posted after all these years.



Regards ,Shh
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Old 04-19-2017, 05:09 AM
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Glad you finally decided to come out into the sunlight after 5 years of lurking! I hope you post more, and in other threads, as you get more comfortable.
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Old 04-19-2017, 05:28 AM
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Thank you! I will say there has been some excellent advice I've read over the years, and I followed most of it and it really helped me.

The worst part of living with an alcoholic is the isolation. You just don't have any friends especially if your not into the drinking part of it. I have nothing against having a drink occasionally but you sure get ostracized for not partying. Good luck trying to find someone Who wants to go out for coffee!

I live in the country, but close to small to big cities. So I have the best of both worlds.

I haven't seen many posters whose spouses are retired military or military so I'd like to shine the light on that aspect. It seems its quite taboo to discuss that in military towns.
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Old 04-19-2017, 06:41 AM
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Hi,
I'm glad you decided to post! And welcome.
My story is very much the same as everyone else's here. My spouse of 14 years was a very nasty, and abusive alcoholic!
I'm older too, and couldn't see my life without him, but realized that my AH was no longer the man I married.
I think, I had protected him for so long, that I forgot about me, and that I was important too!!
This forum is so supportive, and helped me to start my journey to begin focusing on me, and that I was important.
For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel so alone.
I hope you continue to post.
Take care of yourself!
Z
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Old 04-19-2017, 08:01 AM
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Welcome! I lurked for a very long time before joining. I can really relate to the loneliness. I've found great support in Al-Anon and no longer feel lonely.
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Old 04-19-2017, 08:01 AM
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I'm glad you decided to post! We've had a few people here that decided to stay and I've always been drawn to them and what they had to offer because - they had a much healthier level of acceptance than I ever have, and because they mastered "detachment with love" - something I never felt I was able to do.

Please keep posting - I KNOW you will have valuable insight, and hopefully you'll find some from us too. Welcome!
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Old 04-19-2017, 08:02 AM
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Welcome, shh--I probably would have stayed with my STBXAH if he hadn't left so I understand where you are coming from. No one can say what the right decision is for another person, and I will never know how I might have felt 10 years down the road had he stayed. Very glad you decided to post!
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Old 04-19-2017, 09:47 AM
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did post- got lost. LURK NO MORE. POST, SHARE- JOIN IN.
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