Lovebug7

It's been a little bit since I posted last. A week or 2? Anyways, on 2 separate occasions he has texted me during odd hours to tell me that he wants nothing to do with me because I'm a s-word, c-word, w-word (his favorite word), and so on. I asked him how he came to the conclusion that I'm a "*****" and he simply yelled "because you're a w-word!" I'm all of these things that don't make any logical sense, especially concerning the situation. He sounded incredibly drunk on the phone. But he says he doesn't want me to call or text again. Oh and now he's added to the list that I'm a piece of s-word.

All of you that have given your advice and stories, thank you. Yes I still see the good person in my mind. My brain thinks back to the good times like "oh it's not so bad" and "things will stay good" when we're together. We're still broken up at this very moment.

I tried to sign up for therapy, but it may not start still summer term at school IF they can get me in. I'm working now, but I don't have the funds yet to see someone on a regular basis and pay for it.

This psychic lady I talk to (because I thought it was fun until she was always right) said that he's threatened by my ex and will continue to come in and out of my life. Idk what to do with that info. I think I'd be a little better if I could walk away from this still on good terms instead of him hating me for no logical reason.

Update:
Oh, and he also says he's found better and wants nothing to do with me. *shoulder shrug*. If he has found someone, that hurts. Cuz I have him everything. Made his birthday and Valentine's Day perfect, when he never even got me anything.

SparkleKitty

lovebug, I am not sure why you still see the good person in your mind but I do remember feeling that way myself so I am empathize. But that doesn't change his texts and calls into anything but verbal abuse. What would happen if you blocked him so you didn't have to see or hear any of that anymore?

I also understand why you wouldn't want someone out there hating you like that, but you don't have any control over how he feels about you. There's nothing you can do or say or be that will change him into a better or more reasonable person. Walking away with your head high, however, will empower YOU with the knowledge that you were a good partner to someone who did not deserve you.

PhoenixJ

Block, ignore- do not read texts, check f-b.

atalose

What does not make logic sense is.................

You are allowing this verbal abuse to continue.

You are wanting to defend, argue and debate with a drunk.

That the psychic lady isn't warning you about the dangers of wanting to remain involved with an abusive drunk.

LemonGirl

They always "find better". If he really had, would he feel the need to tell you? I don't think he would. It's just his pain lashing out at you because he has yet to take responsibility for ANY of it. In fact, it is partly why he is still drinking.... :-\ so that he doesn't have to face his reality....

LexieCat

Would you pay more attention to us if we told you WE'RE psychics? Actually, we're BETTER than psychics because we have been through this exact same situation (or something very close) because we've all been targets of blame-shifting by the alcoholics we loved.

And we can not only predict the future with at least as much accuracy as your "psychic lady," we can also tell you how to protect yourself. And it starts with ending all contact--blocking phone, text, email, FB. If you think sticking around will result in the ability to "walk away from this still on good terms" you're sadly mistaken.

How about walking away on YOUR terms? There's "better" out there for you, yourself. I suggest you stop fighting to hold onto someone who treats you this way and get yourself in a position where you can have a relationship with someone who treats you with respect.

Lovebug7

I think with each communication, my heart breaks more. But as days go on and it heals, I'm able to slowly forget about him more and more.
I've placed on hold the books at my library to help me and hope to start reading them quite soon.
I've also realized, it's not just the alcohol. But he may be a narcissist. I've been reading up on it and plan on reading a book by Zani Ballard.
Thank you all.

LexieCat

I think preventing that communication, then, should be a priority. Each time you do communicate you will find it harder and harder to heal.

Bekindalways

Good to hear that you are feeling at least a tiny bit better.

I second everything everyone is saying about blocking him. Unfortunately he will probably be back with apologies and sweet words. Please don't fall for it.

AnvilheadII

i bet you are not the only person getting drunken rambling stupid texts from him. you aren't the only number in his phone - i'm sure he just goes down the list.

i'm not sure i'd waste my valuable reading time on yet another book about what MAY be wrong with HIM.

you may want to look more into why you gave and gave and gave and why you tried to give HIM "perfect" days. cuz there's a lot of control and codependency mixed in those actions!!!

block him in all ways possible. you will thank yourself for that gift!

atalose

I'd be reading up on issues you have not issues he has - what's the point in that? Reading about codependency, people pleasing, inability to fully let go of an abusive partner - are books that can help you.

Ladybird579

Anyways, on 2 separate occasions he has texted me during odd hours to tell me that he wants nothing to do with me because I'm a s-word, c-word, w-word (his favorite word), and so on. I asked him how he came to the conclusion that I'm a "*****" and he simply yelled "because you're a w-word!" I'm all of these things that don't make any logical sense, especially concerning the situation. He sounded incredibly drunk on the phone. But he says he doesn't want me to call or text again. Oh and now he's added to the list that I'm a piece of s-word.

You don't see the need to protect yourself from this abuse by blocking him on your phone and other social media. I think other posters are right that you would be better served reading about why you put up with this sort of treatment and help yourself put a stop to it. He is not a good person in anyone's mind but yours....Your bar on acceptable behaviour is scrapping the floor.