I lost a friend to addiction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 715
I lost a friend to addiction
I need to vent my friends.
I recently reconnected with a couple from my past life with my exabf. The four of us used to hang out on the weekends, my gosh, the fun we had.
After splitting with my ex I basically also detached from their friendship. I need time to breath, didn't want the memories, didn't want to hear anything about my ex. The boys were friends long before us girls came into the picture but through the years we all became close. When I was having issues with my EXABF they were my touchstone and really the only friends that truly knew what was going on.
She had a substance abuse issue. I never really got into it with her or him until the last few weeks. I received a call from him that she was trying to withdraw on her own and landed in the ER. I immediately went to be by his and her side to see if I can in any way help. She was desperate to get off the drug she was taking, desperate and so helpless at the same time. We managed to talk the ER physician into keeping her there for 3 days so she could detox supervised because she did not want to go into a rehab. They released her after the 72 hours and from that day on for the last 2 weeks it had been back and forth daily to the ER for various reasons. I urged my friend to try and get her into a rehab to detox. She didn't want to go and he didn't want to force her. She was convinced she could do it on her own.
Yesterday morning I got the call. Was I awake? He thinks she's dead. She's not moving. No, he hasn't called 911 yet. ( I think he was in shock ).
They only live not two miles from me. I jumped in the car like a bat out of hell. When I got there he was outside doubled over. I ran into the house and there she was laying on the family room couch dead.
It didn't have to be like this. Still quite shocking that it happened. I stayed with him through the fire/rescue, police questioning, detectives, phone call to her Exhusband and the medical examiner. We just kind of sat there in shock. Huh??? My heart is broken for her, for him and for the daughter she leaves behind.
Thank you for listening. Addiction SUCKS!
I recently reconnected with a couple from my past life with my exabf. The four of us used to hang out on the weekends, my gosh, the fun we had.
After splitting with my ex I basically also detached from their friendship. I need time to breath, didn't want the memories, didn't want to hear anything about my ex. The boys were friends long before us girls came into the picture but through the years we all became close. When I was having issues with my EXABF they were my touchstone and really the only friends that truly knew what was going on.
She had a substance abuse issue. I never really got into it with her or him until the last few weeks. I received a call from him that she was trying to withdraw on her own and landed in the ER. I immediately went to be by his and her side to see if I can in any way help. She was desperate to get off the drug she was taking, desperate and so helpless at the same time. We managed to talk the ER physician into keeping her there for 3 days so she could detox supervised because she did not want to go into a rehab. They released her after the 72 hours and from that day on for the last 2 weeks it had been back and forth daily to the ER for various reasons. I urged my friend to try and get her into a rehab to detox. She didn't want to go and he didn't want to force her. She was convinced she could do it on her own.
Yesterday morning I got the call. Was I awake? He thinks she's dead. She's not moving. No, he hasn't called 911 yet. ( I think he was in shock ).
They only live not two miles from me. I jumped in the car like a bat out of hell. When I got there he was outside doubled over. I ran into the house and there she was laying on the family room couch dead.
It didn't have to be like this. Still quite shocking that it happened. I stayed with him through the fire/rescue, police questioning, detectives, phone call to her Exhusband and the medical examiner. We just kind of sat there in shock. Huh??? My heart is broken for her, for him and for the daughter she leaves behind.
Thank you for listening. Addiction SUCKS!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Oh, geeze, Lilro, how awful for everyone. I'm so sorry. Addiction DOES suck.
I'm glad you were able to be there to help him. He must be beside himself. How old is their daughter?
Many hugs and prayers.
I'm glad you were able to be there to help him. He must be beside himself. How old is their daughter?
Many hugs and prayers.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,982
Lilro, your post wrings my heart. Such a death is excruciatingly sad.
Take care and stick close to SR and any other support system you have.
May your friend be at peace in some divine space beyond our understanding.
Take care and stick close to SR and any other support system you have.
May your friend be at peace in some divine space beyond our understanding.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 715
Lex, her daughter is 19 and lives upstate. The detectives were going to send the police to where she lived to notify her because she is the next of kin, my friends were not legally married., but I begged them not to do that. We called her ex so her could tell her himself. It was horrible.
He came by this am for coffee. There's not much I can do but be here for him. I contacted my ex yesterday morning and he is also there for him through this on his end. As I said, they were our best " couple" friends.
This is a hard one.
He came by this am for coffee. There's not much I can do but be here for him. I contacted my ex yesterday morning and he is also there for him through this on his end. As I said, they were our best " couple" friends.
This is a hard one.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 869
I'm so sorry Lil I can't imagine. Please be cautious in allowing this moment not to bond you back toward the ex. As Phoenix says grief can creep in unknowingly. ( Please also don't take this the wrong way as I have no room to talk. Just keeping you in my thoughts bc I know my own tendencies.) Big hugs. Addiction is hell.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Oh lilro, I'm so sorry. This is simply tragic. I lost a friend to an overdose a little over a year ago & it rocked my world..... and we were nowhere NEAR as close as you & your friend. 
Many, many positive thoughts & prayers headed your way today.
Many, many positive thoughts & prayers headed your way today.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
