Alcohol Abuse and personality changes?
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Alcohol Abuse and personality changes?
I'm currently processing a break up with my boyfriend of 6+ years. He is most likely a functioning alcoholic or almost one. For the majority of our relationship he was the kindest, sweetest, most optimistic guy. Then after he had a breakdown at about the 5 year point (during which he told his family he was an alcoholic - he has since back tracked on that thought ), he started to drink more and more and I noticed he got depressive, emotional, and became pessimistic about the world even when sober. He used to be such a positive person. He started to resent me (because of codepedent habits towards his drinking I think) . He always loved me so much and treated me well. He started to become moody and passive aggressive. The past year or so was an up and down roller coaster of his emotions - especially towards me. He even started to be temperamental with friends. He has always been the most laid back and not likely to anger person. I wouldn't say he had a complete personality change, but he definitely seems different since his breakdown and his drinking has ramped up at the same time that this occurred. He started lying a lot to me and even now is talking to a new girl since our break up - I never thought we would break up and especially never thought he would pursue someone else so fast when we were so in love (talking marriage). My question is does continuous alcohol abuse change someone's personality over time even when they are in a sober state? I know while drinking people often exhibit different characters but I'm referring to the general personality. I just feel like he isn't the same person I met. It's hard to process 
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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Yup, alcoholism affects all aspects of the alcoholic's life and personality. It doesn't affect everyone exactly the same way, or at the same rate, but alcoholic drinking does change people whether they are drinking at a given moment or not. Generally they are consumed with WANTING to drink when they aren't.
It's a messed-up disease, and it does a number on a person, inside and out.
It's a messed-up disease, and it does a number on a person, inside and out.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
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Well, that must be hard to watch. I'm not a physician, so can't really speak to whether alcohol can cause such a personality change. It sounds a little like depression, which can be exacerbated by alcohol.
But, again, can't really say . I don't suppose he has interest in a complete work up by a physician, including a frank discussion about his alcohol consumption?
Probably not.
Keep posting. Stay with us. It's a supportive, caring group here, and many of us hav been where you are. Peace.
But, again, can't really say . I don't suppose he has interest in a complete work up by a physician, including a frank discussion about his alcohol consumption?
Probably not.
Keep posting. Stay with us. It's a supportive, caring group here, and many of us hav been where you are. Peace.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 844
Lots of times there are whats called co-occurring medical issues. Some of these can cause what your describing. Depression, bipolar, personality disorders are a few Ive heard about. I think it takes a proper medical eval and then usually combined treatment. These groups also self medicate a lot with alcohol or drugs, not even knowing why exactly.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: UK
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Yes! I'm separated from my AH but over the five years we were together I was very aware of the changes. I think in our case it was caused by his depression (which was brought on by his drinking) and he could become moody and see the negative side of any situation - considering his natural personality is positive and solution focused this was quite a turnaround and became very difficult to tolerate.
I hope you feel better soon
I hope you feel better soon
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Yes I think alcoholism can change someone's personality. The chronic consumption of alcohol changes the brain chemistry. And depending on the amount and frequency of that consumption there really isn't a sober state, it's an alcohol soaked brain. Just because someone isn't consuming at that moment doesn't mean you are talking to a sober person.
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Originally Posted by Maudcat 
Well, that must be hard to watch. I'm not a physician, so can't really speak to whether alcohol can cause such a personality change. It sounds a little like depression, which can be exacerbated by alcohol.
But, again, can't really say . I don't suppose he has interest in a complete work up by a physician, including a frank discussion about his alcohol consumption?
Probably not.
Keep posting. Stay with us. It's a supportive, caring group here, and many of us hav been where you are. Peace.
But, again, can't really say . I don't suppose he has interest in a complete work up by a physician, including a frank discussion about his alcohol consumption?
Probably not.
Keep posting. Stay with us. It's a supportive, caring group here, and many of us hav been where you are. Peace.
alcohol addiction can cause virtually any/all psychiatric symptoms. alcohol fries the brain.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Wow- the photo above is eye-opening. Hugs to you for what you are going through. 
You have found a great place here at SR. Keep posting and reading. I feel so blessed to have found a great place for support and information.
You have found a great place here at SR. Keep posting and reading. I feel so blessed to have found a great place for support and information.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 208
It was heartbreaking to read this because I've witnessed the same thing happen to my spouse. He used to love me and care for me so much, now he's angry and bitter 95% of the time and wants to talk about our differing opinions on religion, politics, and feminism. Even when he's sober, he's different. Hugs to you CallaLily
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
I agree that alcoholism causes personality changes. It is heartbreaking to watch and be a part of! My AH was the kindness, compassionate, and wonderful man. For over 10 years we had the most special love. Then, for the last few years before I left, my AH became a different man, abusive, and just nasty! He'd have a few episodes a month, then it became a daily thing!! I even went to my MD and asked her if my AH could have a brain tumor, because the changes were so dramatic!! She said more than likely it was the progression of alcoholism!!
It was so devastating!!! I do know how it feels!!
That man I knew is gone! He now has moved on to another woman.
I can get some peace and comfort knowing the man she's with is not my husband, and I actually feel sorry for her.
The worst is yet to come!
Take care of yourself!
Zircon!
I agree that alcoholism causes personality changes. It is heartbreaking to watch and be a part of! My AH was the kindness, compassionate, and wonderful man. For over 10 years we had the most special love. Then, for the last few years before I left, my AH became a different man, abusive, and just nasty! He'd have a few episodes a month, then it became a daily thing!! I even went to my MD and asked her if my AH could have a brain tumor, because the changes were so dramatic!! She said more than likely it was the progression of alcoholism!!
It was so devastating!!! I do know how it feels!!
That man I knew is gone! He now has moved on to another woman.
I can get some peace and comfort knowing the man she's with is not my husband, and I actually feel sorry for her.
The worst is yet to come!
Take care of yourself!
Zircon!
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by CallaLily22
he got depressive, emotional, and became pessimistic about the world even when sober. He used to be such a positive person.
Hugs to you.
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