sauerkraut

Bachdal,
Your feelings are your feelings. You are entitled to feel the way you feel.

I understand your question about how hard it is to analyze the situation rationally when other people look at the same situation and think you're making too big of a deal about it.

I just got the same message from my soon to be ex mother-in-law, who told me that not-in-recovery STBXAH is just fine, and I should quit pressing for continued sobriety monitoring for the sake of our kids.

A mutual friend of ours said that none of his friends think he has a problem with alcohol, either, and that she wouldn't believe it unless she knew what I've described. (This from a woman who has seen inebriated STBXAH defecating in the middle of the street.)

So . . . denial runs deep? People don't want to believe something that hurts their image of the other person? People feel threatened by the truth when they think it may implicate their own behavior (i.e. MIL wanting me to join her in denial rather than addressing the situation square on)?

It's really hard, and I'm right there with you feeling frustration and self-doubt when people argue that I'm wrong even though my experience says I'm right.

hearthealth

My MIL told me to stop exaggerating my husband. I told her to stop living in denial.
My truth is my truth even though some people don't want to accept it. You will always have supportive people and unsupportive people. In the end it's about your life, not theirs.