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-   -   worried about starting over at age 32 (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/4061-worried-about-starting-over-age-32-a.html)

Desperate 12-22-2001 07:09 PM

worried about starting over at age 32
 
Hello,
I've been married to a heavy beer drinker for 13 years now.He now has a bad habit of mixing his beer with nerve pills.This has been going on for about 3 years now.When he gets all messed up he leaves in his truck to god knows where.This past week he wrecked a truck that we had just bought 6 days ago.His truck is the way he makes his living and without it we will loose every thing we have worked so hard for.

We have bad credit and like to have never found anyone to finance us a truck.The one that we were lucky enough to finally get now sits in the junk yard, unfixable.

I don't know what to do. I do know that I am finally fed up with this kind of life.I feel all alone.I want to leave but I worry about loosing my land and home that I have paid on for the past 5 years.I have three children ages 14,11 and 9 months. I don't want to up root them.What should I do?
I have left a couple of times only for a day or two. But I always come back,hoping and praying that he will change as he says he will.He does straighten up for a week or two then starts up again.

I'm sorry I'm going on and on but I'm lonely and afraid. Thanks for listening so to speak.

I'll tell more of my story later.After 13 years theres alot to tell.

------------------
Kim Sams

smoke gets in my eyes 12-23-2001 05:02 AM

HI Kim....
I can relate. Dino lost everything to his addiction.... all the equipment for his business. I helped him restart... buying pieces here and there... and as fast as I got them, he pawned them to buy drugs. Not the same as a wreck... but just as thwarting, income wise.
It would have been easy for Dino to get another job. He wouldn't. He was too good. That arrogance was drugs talking. I hear echoes of that in your statement about being without the truck spelling disaster. It doesn't have to. But, unless this wreck has startled your husband into sobriety... it could.
I hung in there with Dino a long time thinking he would wise up. I kept pouring money down the drain that way too. I had the illusion that stability couldn't come without the income he WOULD provide. Stability didn't come until the drain he was causing ceased.
Boy, it's crappy trying to deal with this at Christmas, isn't it? Try to find some joy for yourself and your family. And keep posting!

Smoke

ladyammons 12-23-2001 05:06 AM

Oh, Kim ... I am sorry. I can understand where you're coming from that's why I am so happy my kids are older. If I had land/home I would never leave. He should leave and you stay. I don't know if you believe in God but He is there for you. I don't know where you're at but have you thought about applying for public assistance/welfare once you tell him to leave? Being a home childcare provider I have my own income in place. Have you ever thought about that if you don't want to go out and work? EM me if you want to talk.
Maryalice in MA


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