Ladybird579

We had over 3 wonderful months of peace and quiet. No texts, phone calls or bull from exah and today it all kicked off again. First my autistic son, who cannot read well, asked me to read a text from his dad and it was clear from it he's been interfering in my son's medical treatment and I am going to be on the phone half of Monday sorting it out. To be clear my son is 18 and only I have power over his affairs now.( and his twin) A fact that has bypassed my exah alcoholic brain. ( and the hospital)

Then my son got a much longer text from exah explaining that he is in a "clinic"aka holistic rehab where he is soothed and cossetted and made to feel a victim. He was an entitled, selfish prat when he came out and never did AA or any of the steps. He is hoping it will work this time and he wants my sons to meet him during an outing the clinic is having to our town or if not go to the clinic to see him "where he lives now."

I am trying to stay out of it, trying to not kick off but I am beyond furious. Both my boys told him they didn't want anymore to do with him unless he was sober and could prove it for 5 years. Now he expects them to meet him while in "rehab" after dumping them off for their 18th birthday and ignoring them since well before Christmas and lying to them everyday before that. I don't know what to say to them cos they just get angry if I try to show them how it is. I feel helpless. I feel they are walking the path I did and nothing I say will stop them from disappointment after disappointment, that this endless quacking from exah will go on forever and we will never ever get off this merry go round. I am so tired of it. He's crafty cos he absolutely knows I will not be happy them visiting him in rehab and he also knows they cannot attend by themselves. It's too far. Which leaves me. No one else will take them.

Ladybird579

Update cos I can't delete the above.

My son read to me a text he had written on behalf of him and his twin. It wishes their dad well but tells him they do not want to meet up with him. I am so proud of them both for being able to do what it took me 20 years to do. I managed to keep quiet too. Go me lol.

2Frazzled

They know... they see through his manipulation.

You're an awesome mom for protecting them and your boys are learning from you and your example xx

Refiner

Wooo hoooo Ladybird! I was just going to post that if I were you, to let them know they have a choice and it's ABSOLUTELY acceptable if they wish not to visit. Seems they figured that out on their own!!

Nata1980

Ladybird - good for you, mama bear They have a full right not to see him.

My son has autism, too, and he is a bit of an empath- he cannot handle dad being down or moody. XAH is still stuck in his manipulative ways - however, he is all but checked out of DS's life. He sees him once a month - and I am ok with this setup.