True to form
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 75
True to form
As I've posted previously, my three children and I are leaving my AH on Monday. He doesn't know the exact day, for safety reasons. Only that we're leaving over March Break.
My counselors warned me to be cautious at this time because physical violence can come into play.
Things were fairly calm until today. I've been detached and steering clear of him.
Then, today, AH opened a separate bank account and deposited his biweekly paycheque in it. I have no access to funds now, and our automated payments won't go through because the account is at max overdraft.
Then tonight after work AH got drunk and chose a silly issue to get upset about. I was in my daughter's room with her. My youngest son (6) was playing in his brother' s room (16) because big bro is away at a friend's house. Anyway, AH came to the door of dd's room, knocked loudly and stepped inside. He began raising his voice about this non-issue. I remained silent so as not to exacerbate the situation. I could see he was drunk and angry. Then AH went across the hall and started yelling at my ds, using profanity. My son ran past him and into my daughter's room. AH began yelling at me again. Lots of profanity. I said, "Please, just stop." I closed the door and locked it. He grabbed the door knob and tried turning it a few times. When it wouldn't open, he began alternating between banging on it loudly and pushing on it forcefully. He finally went away and has since gone to bed. I don't know how much he drank but it was definitely quite a bit. It was obvious in many ways that he was very intoxicated.
I was ready to call the police. I've done it once in the past. This event frightened my two out of three kids. I felt a panic attack coming on but managed to stop it. AH has never done anything like that before.Hopefully we'll get through this without further disturbances. Staying safe, though. And my heart finally stopped racing. Anyone else have a similar experience when you were leaving? By the way, our wifi gets turned off tomorrow so I won't be back on until Monday. Will be here a bit longer tonight, though. Thanks.
My counselors warned me to be cautious at this time because physical violence can come into play.
Things were fairly calm until today. I've been detached and steering clear of him.
Then, today, AH opened a separate bank account and deposited his biweekly paycheque in it. I have no access to funds now, and our automated payments won't go through because the account is at max overdraft.
Then tonight after work AH got drunk and chose a silly issue to get upset about. I was in my daughter's room with her. My youngest son (6) was playing in his brother' s room (16) because big bro is away at a friend's house. Anyway, AH came to the door of dd's room, knocked loudly and stepped inside. He began raising his voice about this non-issue. I remained silent so as not to exacerbate the situation. I could see he was drunk and angry. Then AH went across the hall and started yelling at my ds, using profanity. My son ran past him and into my daughter's room. AH began yelling at me again. Lots of profanity. I said, "Please, just stop." I closed the door and locked it. He grabbed the door knob and tried turning it a few times. When it wouldn't open, he began alternating between banging on it loudly and pushing on it forcefully. He finally went away and has since gone to bed. I don't know how much he drank but it was definitely quite a bit. It was obvious in many ways that he was very intoxicated.
I was ready to call the police. I've done it once in the past. This event frightened my two out of three kids. I felt a panic attack coming on but managed to stop it. AH has never done anything like that before.Hopefully we'll get through this without further disturbances. Staying safe, though. And my heart finally stopped racing. Anyone else have a similar experience when you were leaving? By the way, our wifi gets turned off tomorrow so I won't be back on until Monday. Will be here a bit longer tonight, though. Thanks.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Keep your cell phone on you at all times.
I'd also suggest calling the DV hotline or your local women's shelter, and getting some help with a safety plan.
Please check in as you are able to. Do you have a lawyer? You need access to funds, and it may take a court order to get it.
One suggestion--depending on what state you live in, you might qualify for a protective order based on his actions tonight. If you get an order, not only would he have to leave until you are safely out of there, he could be ordered to provide support to you and the kids on an interim basis.
Be careful and stay safe.
I'd also suggest calling the DV hotline or your local women's shelter, and getting some help with a safety plan.
Please check in as you are able to. Do you have a lawyer? You need access to funds, and it may take a court order to get it.
One suggestion--depending on what state you live in, you might qualify for a protective order based on his actions tonight. If you get an order, not only would he have to leave until you are safely out of there, he could be ordered to provide support to you and the kids on an interim basis.
Be careful and stay safe.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
Musiclady, this is frightening and I'm praying for peace in your home. Why not call the police? Or is there someone else you can call to help you?
I have not been in that exact situation but have been in scary and threatening situations with an ex drunk/stoned bf.
I have not been in that exact situation but have been in scary and threatening situations with an ex drunk/stoned bf.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 430
Musiclady,
Call the cops if you feel at all unsafe. I know that might be traumatic for you and your kids, but down the road it can help you establish his pattern of violent behavior (which I'm trying to do with my STBXAH now). More importantly, it sounds like you might need protection now.
Call the cops if you feel at all unsafe. I know that might be traumatic for you and your kids, but down the road it can help you establish his pattern of violent behavior (which I'm trying to do with my STBXAH now). More importantly, it sounds like you might need protection now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Musiclady-I'm worried about your all's safety. He escalated, that's for sure. I'm concerned he may escalate again, especially while drinking and it could be worse next time. Please take care and don't hesitate to call the DV or the cops.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I think you should call the police. If nothing else to establish this pattern of behavior. I was scared to do so b/c I knew it would be traumatic for my kids. What a mistake.
I did not call the police multiple times on my X. Come to find out in a custody battle, or even a modification later, had I done so (legitimately, as he deserved it), I would have helped my children tremendously if there was any dispute for custody or lessening time b/c of his bad, and very scary, behaviors.
Hugs friend. A day at a time.
I did not call the police multiple times on my X. Come to find out in a custody battle, or even a modification later, had I done so (legitimately, as he deserved it), I would have helped my children tremendously if there was any dispute for custody or lessening time b/c of his bad, and very scary, behaviors.
Hugs friend. A day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: East Coast
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by hopeful4 
I think you should call the police. If nothing else to establish this pattern of behavior. I was scared to do so b/c I knew it would be traumatic for my kids. What a mistake.
I did not call the police multiple times on my X. Come to find out in a custody battle, or even a modification later, had I done so (legitimately, as he deserved it), I would have helped my children tremendously if there was any dispute for custody or lessening time b/c of his bad, and very scary, behaviors.
Hugs friend. A day at a time.
I did not call the police multiple times on my X. Come to find out in a custody battle, or even a modification later, had I done so (legitimately, as he deserved it), I would have helped my children tremendously if there was any dispute for custody or lessening time b/c of his bad, and very scary, behaviors.
Hugs friend. A day at a time.
Establish the pattern now.
qwer1234
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