sauerkraut

Oh, God, Love Hurt I really feel like I was in your shoes. I could have written your words: "I fantasize not about another man but about another life. I am pretty miserable and yet he gets to drink it all away! I am sad for my kids! And I feel like a failure. I am supposed to honor my vows."

I remember one day when he said "hey, we're doing okay, aren't we?" and I said, "are you kidding? I want the last 4 months of my life back."

An active alcoholic will keep us on the roller coaster as long as they can; it's up to us to step off, for ourselves and for the sake of our children. I can tell you now, 14 months after leaving my STBXAH, that I am incredibly glad that I stopped showing my daughters that a wife's role is to put up with abuse. It isn't. We have to stand up for ourselves and get out, for our own sake and for our children.

mylifeismine

The dysfunction truly is passed on from generation to
generation -
until someone sees it for what it is and makes the changes needed
to start living their lives in a sane and healthy way, caring about and
loving themselves, creating & enforcing their boundaries to keep
themselves & their children in a safe & nurturing environment.

One of the reasons its so darn hard is because one is shifting
away from generations of dysfunction.....