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Old 02-05-2002, 06:24 AM
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Angels_Tears
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Unhappy New And Need Help!

Hi,
My name is Lisa and have been struggling with the A in my life's alcoholism for 12 years..I have severe anxiety and depression and can't even leave my house..but I want desperately to get into Al-Anon... Does anyone know if there are resources online, or people I can talk to? I am really going crazy here..I have pretty much lost any hope that things will get better..any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks So Much
Lisa
 
Old 02-05-2002, 06:26 AM
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Jon
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Hi Lisa...

You've found the right place. Right here, right now. Check this board a few times today to see all the new friends you have.

------------------
Be well, and have a great 24...
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Old 02-05-2002, 06:30 AM
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Hello Angels-Tears!
Welcome to the recovery forum! We have alanon chats online on Sunday nites at 8 pm eastern... naranon on Mondays at the same time.

Please always feel free to come to this board and share with us. Yes, we DO want to hear it. We've all been there.

Hugs to our new friend!!!

Smoke
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Old 02-05-2002, 06:51 AM
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in the dumps
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Hi, AngelTears

Welcome, new member

You have just posted on the Al-Anon forum. Al-Anon is normally for family members or friends of an alcoholic.

It sounds like you have an alcohol problem yourself.(Unless I misunderstood something)

I suggest that you post a message in the AA forum. This is for people who have an alcohol problem themselves.

Of course you can post anywhere you want on these forums.

I post on the NA and AA forums. Post on the AA forum with some of your problems or whatever you want to talk about.

In the AA forum. You will find alcoholics trying to recover and support from people who have years of sobriety (these people could help you a lot.

Keep an open mind while you are in this site. Keep in mind any advice is just suggestions (we don't tell people they have to do something)

Keep posting

Talk Later

in the dumps -- feelin a little better today
 
Old 02-05-2002, 07:00 AM
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Angels_Tears
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No, My Husband is the Alcoholic..I'm not sure where I said in my post that I was..I suffer from Depression and severe anxiety..sorry If i misposted something.
Lisa
 
Old 02-05-2002, 08:16 AM
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in the dumps
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AngelTears

Sorry if I misunderstood the message.

I guess I took it as you being the person with depression and anxiety and a fear to leave the house.

I had those same symptoms when I was drinking. Quit drinking Feb 2001.
Maybe your husband should post on the AA board (that is if he believes that he has a problem and is looking for help.)
Still suffer the same symptoms now only they have decreased with medication.

Please Note: Watch very carefully for anxiety medications. A lot of them are narcotic (controlled substance) They can be very habit forming / addictive.
You don't want to form an addiction to anxiety meds. This could cause you to become a future NA member here.
Please ask the doc lots of questions before he gives you any script for anxiety.

I am trying to quit my anxiety pills. (It is not easy!!)

Let me know if I can help answer any questions

You will easiest find me in the AA or NA forums.

in the dumps -- feelin a little better today.
 
Old 02-05-2002, 08:26 AM
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Angels_Tears
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I am the person who has the anxiety and depression and is afraid to leave the house...My Husband is a functioning Alcoholic who has been arrested 14 times for Drunk Driving and never spent a day in jail..I am on meds for both the depression and anxiety and I have to see my doctor every 2 weeks along with a counselor..and everytime I go I feel like I am going to pass out and get very sick...
I have had Depression and Anxiety since I was in High School but it has gotten worse with all that is going on..My huband and I constantly fight..and I find it difficult to even be around him at times..so far he is refusing to get help...he has admitted he's an alcoholic..but that's as far as it goes..
Both my children just recently started counseling as well.
Three years ago I got arrested for hitting him because I was so angry that he was drunk...I guess I just finally snapped.
I could go on.. but I would be here forever
Lisa
 
Old 02-05-2002, 08:28 AM
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Welcome to the forum and please post often. I have lived with an A for 24 years and can imagine what you are going through. (Just put mine out in June). I was very scared when I first started the process but I am starting to do GREAT on my own. (I should also say I have 3 teens so that is not so alone)I never gave ultimatums that I was not prepared to back up so when I said the big D word I meant it. He had been through rehab twice and both times were not because he wanted to so of course he lapsed. Of course I am not receiving child support cause to him this means he has no responsibilities now so he can drink and smoke dope ALL day. Please tell us more of your story or just use this to vent. (Which I do a LOT) It sure feels good and you will hear from some VERY good people here who are not judgmental and know what you speak. Take what you can use and leave the rest. Good luck!
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Old 02-05-2002, 08:37 AM
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I was typing at the same time you were I guess. I had my two oldest in counseling until the counselor left for a different field of study. It sure did help them as this is definitely a family disease. They were my biggest inspiration in the final decision to divorce. They love to be able to have friends over and Dad not be there being stupid drunk. Alanon has really helped me to control smacking him in the face with a frying pan. (That and Smokes nerf bat) This site has been my biggest help though. P.S. go ahead and vent if your hands can take that much typing because I think I'm here forever.

[This message has been edited by CherylG (edited February 05, 2002).]
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Old 02-05-2002, 09:06 AM
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Hi Lisa~
Sorry for all that you are going through. You asked for resources online. Well there is a chat room here like smoke talked about. I also know that there are al-anon meetings at www.sober24.com, www.12steps.com, and chicagorecovery.com. I hope that you will continue coming here and eventually find the courage to be able to attend face to face meetings in your area. They are a loving and warm group of people who will accept YOU just as you are right now. I hope this is helpful for you and I want you to know you already have friends here. Glad to meet you.
As always~
The Wife
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Old 02-05-2002, 11:29 AM
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Welcome Angels_Tears!

I only want to say to you that I have read your post and it certainly touched my heart.

God Bless you...

------------------
Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace amid the storm....

RovenRev
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Old 02-05-2002, 11:54 AM
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HI angel_tear

I understand where you are coming from. All you need to do is just go to meetings and when he see you change he just might get help. If you like to talk more about it. Just e-mail me [email protected]

SAngelfive
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Old 02-05-2002, 12:05 PM
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Angels_Tears
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My problem is getting to the meetings..right now I am deathly afraid of leaving my house!
Lisa
 
Old 02-05-2002, 12:08 PM
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HI again AT....
Online is good then. Check out the suggestions wife gave you and come to our chat on sunday and monday. Post here and on the naranon page. We'll lend you all the spirit we can muster!

Smoke
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Old 02-05-2002, 12:14 PM
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Angels_Tears
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Im confused..why should I be posting on the naranon board?
 
Old 02-05-2002, 12:30 PM
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Oh, only because there are people there who will identify and are besides, a spirited (and sometimes rowdy) group with a lot of love to share. Always room for another anon!

Smoke
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Old 02-05-2002, 05:32 PM
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Angel_Tears,

Your message touched my heart. I am praying for you and keeping good thoughts that you will find hope. Remember that you are a person of worth, God's perfect creation, and you deserve a life with joy.
 
Old 02-05-2002, 05:47 PM
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Julia
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Lisa,

I thought I had posted this message already, but I don't see it so I'll mention it again. I am in recovery, have been addicted for the past two years. However, I have suffered very badly from anxiety and depression for years prior to that.

Ten years ago I heard of an organization called the "Midwestern Center for Anxiety." They had a tape program you sent for, that contained 24 tapes and a workbook.

This program helped me more than any medication every had. I still use the tapes and practice this program today. I don't know if it will help you deal with your A, but it could definitely help you with your anxiety. This program is noy any sort of scam, brainwashing, or cult. I am not cured of getting anxiety, but this program taught me many things, and has given me excellent coping skills on how to deal with it so I am not disabled by it.

If you do a search for "Midwestern Center for Anxety" you should come up with their website. If not post a reply and I will get you their 800#.

Julia
 
Old 02-06-2002, 04:19 PM
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Dear Lisa

You'll never regret posting here, Your story is my story....., two years ago things got so bad, I had a nervouse break down, I was paralized with anxiety....A feeling I never want to have again....I did recover..My anxiety...has lessend, I still fear them...and try to control my stress, most likely because of the fear of loosing my mind. what started me into recovery was going to co-denpendency meetings...It was all I could do to go to them... I read,,,codependency no more...great book..
The best advice I can give you is separate mentaly from him. Let him go...... look deep into your self.. and start with one baby step away... one step at a time... I talk like I've got it all under control., but believe me I don't ... I still am married to my active drinking A. I have three children, and I struggle everyday,...wondering what I should do next or what I'll have to do...next. I'm tired, scared...and angry... And I am still on my journey to self healing.
We are all wounded angels here....
you already took one step....congratulations..you found this site and posted... and you've found friends and support. Things will get better...People do care...you'll be surprised how much we care.
So happy you found us....
regards
Sincerly
Sally
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Old 02-07-2002, 05:58 AM
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Angels_Tears
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Thank you all for your wonderful replies..
My husband has been drinking since we have been married ( 13 years) ..he has been arrested 14 times for DUI and blames me for it..because I made him angry so he had to go out and drink..It was my fault he got arrested... We lost our home 8 years ago because he never paid the bills..so now we live in my grandparents house( they passed away) which my parents own.. I can't tell you how embarrassing it was to have an auctioneer standing on my front lawn trying to auction off my house..It also made me angry that yet once again I had to depend on my parents.
We fight constantly..mostly because he wants to have sex and I just do not want to touch him at times..he gets angry with me and goes to sleep.
He also gets mad at me because he say's I push him away..how can I get close to him and feel safe?
Sally, you said to distance yourself mentally from him..how do I do that...I seem to have distanced some part of me from him..
forgive me for rambling..I just feel like I am going around in circles.
Lisa
 

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