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Divorce Anouncement

Old 02-06-2017, 03:10 PM
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Divorce Anouncement

Dear friends
My partner and I separated 3 years ago this month, and have had very little to do with each other the entire time. I have stayed legally married to him to keep him on the health insurance at my company. I believed that to take this from him would be a mean thing to do, since I was the one who left the relationship.

I got an email from him over the weekend, suggesting that we file for divorce. Apparently the IRS is killing him in taxes because of the way we have to file. He believes paying for health insurance on his own will be cheaper than the taxes.

My plan was to tell you folks when this divorce is a fait accompli, but I really need your support just now.

In a sense, this is a gift from God that is wrapped in ugly wrapping paper. I have been struggling with feelings of sadness and nostalgia.

I have also been struggling with a call to become a permanent deacon in the Catholic Church, a position that would be impossible with my current marital status.

I am in the process of changing my ISP, so I will not be able to visit here very often before this Saturday, but I thank you very much in a advance for your support.
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Old 02-06-2017, 03:24 PM
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Eauchiche.....I think that the actual divorce triggers a wave of sadness and nostalgia in almost everybody...no matter the reason or who requested it....
It seems to pass very quickly, though.....

My suggestion...try to keep "busy" on that particular day....
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Old 02-06-2017, 03:25 PM
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Dissolving a marriage is a difficult but necessary thing sometimes. Peace to you.
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Old 02-06-2017, 03:56 PM
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E,
I am sorry for your pain, it just plain sucks. You are the nice guy offering the insurance and he would rather do it alone. Ugh!! - Addicts!!

You have a lot on your plate right now and then becoming a Deacon on top of it. I am sure you have worked very hard for this. Congratulations!!! Obviously God is sending you in a direction that you didn't expect so soon.

You know the drill.... He knows better then we do. Let him lead the way. You will be an awesome Deacon if you choose to go down that path. You are a kind gentle sole, my friend!!

Keep your chin up, move forward and see what happens!! Sending big bear hugs to you, that you find clarity in the next couple of months!! Keep in touch when you can, so we know you are ok!!
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Old 02-06-2017, 10:35 PM
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Wishing you strength and clarity as you find your path forward, Eauchiche.
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Old 02-06-2017, 10:39 PM
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Prayers to you both
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Old 02-07-2017, 08:19 AM
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It doesn't matter how prepared you felt, it's an emotional process. I think it's smart to embrace it & it sounds like your HP is working through all kinds of channels to keep you moving in a forward direction, that's pretty validating!

Have you ever heard of a book called "Tear Soup"? I love it because it works for any kind of grief - we give a copy to every client suffering any kind of loss. The basic point is that we all build our "Tear Soup" recipe differently & it's ok to grieve on our own timelines.

(((((Hugs)))))
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Old 02-07-2017, 08:55 AM
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(((Eauchiche)
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Old 02-07-2017, 09:22 AM
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Thanks to all of you from the bottom of my heart!

I think that part of the pain is the realization of all this and the finality of it, which is finally liberating me from all denial.

I am sure many of you folks can relate to the time before your own divorces, where you had hopes that the outcome would be different. In my case I can look back over the past couple of years at our separation, where my emotional and psychological states took on a life of their own. This has become another "step 1" for me again and again; I became powerless over my own thought life!!!

MANY thanks again. You all are very dear to me.
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Old 02-09-2017, 11:25 AM
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Wishing you peace and continued strength, Eauchiche. ((((hugs))))
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Old 02-09-2017, 01:53 PM
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Sending you lots of hugs and support friend!
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