Not my best day!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: SaiGon, Vietnam
Posts: 62
Not my best day!
Hi All
I had an interview recently that would enable me to pay off AH's debts and offer a better choice to my DD. However I had already signed a new contract when this school approached me to apply so had to speak with my current school. I just found out that after speaking with my curent Head and his desire to hold onto me....the job offer is no more.
Disappointed, I went over to the library to be met by the librarian asking me, ' Is your AH dating? Only I saw on his fb page that he is in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl". I suggested she ask him and to please not give me any more information about AH.
Now I'm sat in my classroom fighting back tears when I should be in a meeting.
Trying hard not to look on his FB page myself.....even though I know it will be like sticking pins in my eyes
I had an interview recently that would enable me to pay off AH's debts and offer a better choice to my DD. However I had already signed a new contract when this school approached me to apply so had to speak with my current school. I just found out that after speaking with my curent Head and his desire to hold onto me....the job offer is no more.
Disappointed, I went over to the library to be met by the librarian asking me, ' Is your AH dating? Only I saw on his fb page that he is in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl". I suggested she ask him and to please not give me any more information about AH.
Now I'm sat in my classroom fighting back tears when I should be in a meeting.
Trying hard not to look on his FB page myself.....even though I know it will be like sticking pins in my eyes
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,642
mer- my empathy to you. I would suggest not checking social media, go to a meeting as soon as you can- and post here lots- look at different threads- perhaps the 'women's only ' one?
Prayers to you. Stay safe.
Prayers to you. Stay safe.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: SaiGon, Vietnam
Posts: 62
haha no pay increase likely - but maybe it is best to stay where we are. I thought that as I had not gone looking for a new job that having one come to me was a present from the Universe therefore it was meant to be....er no...Rude awakening.
I am more upset at how upset the news about AH upset me. I think at the back of my mind I believed he would be faithful to me - and was feeling ashamed of his behaviour...er no he is not...another rude awakening.
But I am cancelling his visa. Not out of revenge but because he is only entitled to that visa as my husband. He is not my husband in any way other than legal so he can organise his own,. I feel ilke he is too sure of me...that I will always do the right thing or that he can do what he likes and I will carry on supplying his needs. I know there may well be repercussions when he realises he has no visa - but Im tired of being controlled by fear of what he will do to me or others if he doesnt get what he wants.
That's not a message from the Unverse or anything outside of me...it's from my head and because its the right thing to do for me and my daughter. Snip.
I am more upset at how upset the news about AH upset me. I think at the back of my mind I believed he would be faithful to me - and was feeling ashamed of his behaviour...er no he is not...another rude awakening.
But I am cancelling his visa. Not out of revenge but because he is only entitled to that visa as my husband. He is not my husband in any way other than legal so he can organise his own,. I feel ilke he is too sure of me...that I will always do the right thing or that he can do what he likes and I will carry on supplying his needs. I know there may well be repercussions when he realises he has no visa - but Im tired of being controlled by fear of what he will do to me or others if he doesnt get what he wants.
That's not a message from the Unverse or anything outside of me...it's from my head and because its the right thing to do for me and my daughter. Snip.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by merhaba 
I am more upset at how upset the news about AH upset me.
Stay strong, bad days suck but they pass!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 430
Maybe the other job was just a reminder from the universe to keep your eyes open for the right opportunity. The fact that you were close to one possibility means there will likely be others. And it sounds like you're doing the right thing by cancelling his Visa. Folks around here recommend no contact; him losing his Visa should expedite that. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: SaiGon, Vietnam
Posts: 62
Thanks sauerkraut
When I first suggested it on here, the responses were to not cancel out of revenge...but I do not think I am doing (well maybe a little) but I am giving him the message that he can treat me as mean as he likes but I won't give any consequence. I feel it is the right thing to do now. I am still a little concerned about his reaction so I am not going to tell him....yet.
When I first suggested it on here, the responses were to not cancel out of revenge...but I do not think I am doing (well maybe a little
) but I am giving him the message that he can treat me as mean as he likes but I won't give any consequence. I feel it is the right thing to do now. I am still a little concerned about his reaction so I am not going to tell him....yet.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Mer,
We all try and move forward, but there always seems to be a "librarian" who feels the need to share.
My "librarian" is my mother. I am currently almost 2.5 years post divorce and I get weekly updates from her regarding axh. (I Blocked him years ago) She stalks him on fb and shares everything he or his family is doing. After getting angry with her 2 weeks ago and told her to stop, she brought him up in the very next phone conversation. (This is my mother!!) I am currently 8 days no contact with my 78 year old mother, she just doesn't get it. My siblings are not happy with me, but I have to protect myself. She tells me that he is the father of my kids so I have to have a relationship with him. I don't think so! Ugh, life is just not easy.
Stay away from libraians, they are not good for our well being!! Hang in there my friend, we all understand.
We all try and move forward, but there always seems to be a "librarian" who feels the need to share.
My "librarian" is my mother. I am currently almost 2.5 years post divorce and I get weekly updates from her regarding axh. (I Blocked him years ago) She stalks him on fb and shares everything he or his family is doing. After getting angry with her 2 weeks ago and told her to stop, she brought him up in the very next phone conversation. (This is my mother!!) I am currently 8 days no contact with my 78 year old mother, she just doesn't get it. My siblings are not happy with me, but I have to protect myself. She tells me that he is the father of my kids so I have to have a relationship with him. I don't think so! Ugh, life is just not easy.
Stay away from libraians, they are not good for our well being!! Hang in there my friend, we all understand.
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