Why do alcoholics deny being drunk?
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When my XABF used to do it, I really believe that he thought he could convince me he wasn't drunk with his words, because he knew I would be mad/disappointed/sad that he was drunk. I don't believe he was capable of realizing that his actions spoke so much louder than his words. Of course, he was *drunk* so that's not surprising.
But you might as well ask why fish swim, why birds fly. It's what they do.
But you might as well ask why fish swim, why birds fly. It's what they do.
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Originally Posted by hearthealth 
Quackers alert. So my H was stumbling drunk after two beers.
Me: Did you stop someplace between work and home?
H: Like what?
Me Like a bar?
H:No, yes.
I think they want to keep it secret unless they have to.
Me: Did you stop someplace between work and home?
H: Like what?
Me Like a bar?
H:No, yes.
I think they want to keep it secret unless they have to.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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Hmm. First, you're asking someone to give a rational response when they are impaired or irrational. When someone does something they aren't supposed to and there tit is caught in the proverbial ringer, of course, the first response will be to lie out their butt. When I was active, I used to think that was the most ridiculous question to ask. Just use your powers of observation and leave it at that. Ultimately, I knew I was being a jackass but until I was ready to get my life together, the hamster wheel kept on turning.
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It's also important to note that, unless you are talking DUI statutes/limits, "drunk" is a relative term. To the alcoholic, s/he might have a LONG way to go before s/he would personally consider her/himself "drunk."
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Originally Posted by LexieCat
It's also important to note that, unless you are talking DUI statutes/limits, "drunk" is a relative term. To the alcoholic, s/he might have a LONG way to go before s/he would personally consider her/himself "drunk."
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My point is that there isn't a universal BAC (apart from legal definitions in statutes) that constitutes "drunk." One drink impairs some people significantly. Others can put away a great quantity of booze (amounts that would put most people under the table) and actually function quite well in most respects. Is the latter person "drunk"? Depends on how you define "drunk."
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Originally Posted by LexieCat
My point is that there isn't a universal BAC (apart from legal definitions in statutes) that constitutes "drunk." One drink impairs some people significantly. Others can put away a great quantity of booze (amounts that would put most people under the table) and actually function quite well in most respects. Is the latter person "drunk"? Depends on how you define "drunk."
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Sure. But a problem for whom? And in what context?
Your original question was why someone would deny being drunk when s/he is. Let's say a partner picks up a slight slur in the alcoholic's words in a telephone call. Partner asks, "Are you drunk?" and alcoholic denies it. Actually, alcoholic has had 6-7 drinks over the course of a couple of hours, but has been drinking long enough that a slight slur is the only giveaway. Alcoholic is safe at home, watching TV--not driving, not taking care of children.
Of course, being an alcoholic is a problem unto itself, but in this scenario, drinking that quantity of alcohol presents no immediate threat. Partner is upset because partner can tell alcoholic is drinking, yet the only "problem" is that partner doesn't like it because they've argued about it and alcoholic says s/he will "cut back."
Whose problem?
Your original question was why someone would deny being drunk when s/he is. Let's say a partner picks up a slight slur in the alcoholic's words in a telephone call. Partner asks, "Are you drunk?" and alcoholic denies it. Actually, alcoholic has had 6-7 drinks over the course of a couple of hours, but has been drinking long enough that a slight slur is the only giveaway. Alcoholic is safe at home, watching TV--not driving, not taking care of children.
Of course, being an alcoholic is a problem unto itself, but in this scenario, drinking that quantity of alcohol presents no immediate threat. Partner is upset because partner can tell alcoholic is drinking, yet the only "problem" is that partner doesn't like it because they've argued about it and alcoholic says s/he will "cut back."
Whose problem?
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In my case, I think AH simply doesn't want to admit they've been drinking but for some reason they think they can convince you of it despite all evidence to the contrary.
Today is our 40th wedding anniversary. We planned on going out to a nice restaurant for brunch. I figured that it's brunch--how drunk could he be at 9:00am. How naive of me.
He was so excited about our anniversary he was awake at 3am and pretty much drank from 3am until 9am. He was wasted. So I told him that perhaps we should forget brunch and do dinner, as long as he doesn't drink anymore, and he actually protested that he hadn't been drinking. He was drooling on himself, and slurring and having trouble dressing, but nooo he wasn't drinking!
He implicitly admitted he had been drinking by agreeing to skip brunch. We wound up going out for dinner early; he had sobered up enough. We were home by 7:00 and he's already in bed sleeping. Ahhh, sweet peace!
Today is our 40th wedding anniversary. We planned on going out to a nice restaurant for brunch. I figured that it's brunch--how drunk could he be at 9:00am. How naive of me.
He was so excited about our anniversary he was awake at 3am and pretty much drank from 3am until 9am. He was wasted. So I told him that perhaps we should forget brunch and do dinner, as long as he doesn't drink anymore, and he actually protested that he hadn't been drinking. He was drooling on himself, and slurring and having trouble dressing, but nooo he wasn't drinking!
He implicitly admitted he had been drinking by agreeing to skip brunch. We wound up going out for dinner early; he had sobered up enough. We were home by 7:00 and he's already in bed sleeping. Ahhh, sweet peace!
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