I think this was a SR member - HAUNTS ME
 

The letter to her husband on FB states exactly what a SR member here told us her husband said about their son. She killed her son then herself. She was so broken. Please PLEASE get help for yourself before becoming this broken! I am haunted by this.
http://awm.com/mother-kills-son-and-then-herself-then-cops-find-heartbreaking-letter-she-left-for-the-father/?utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=fb_boost&utm_conte nt=20170114_1150&bst=1_14_1150_awma_fbv_c40

Does anyone know how to post a link? It doesn't appear to have posted a link. Just Google Sheri Shermeyer. The article I tried to post lists the entire FB post where she used the same words as she used here. This just haunts me.

No- but addiction is horrid. Prayers.

I was able to copy and paste in my search bar. HORRIBLE. God bless her and her son.

Refiner, it is tragic that some women and men cannot seem to find a way out. I know you as well as many of us here try to give the very best advice that we can to others who are confused and hurting. Unfortunately as you know, even though we are all here for the same reason none of us are living the same life or have been through the same EXACT thing as another. I think having an infant at home makes it so much harder for others to just walk away. That I do know from experience. All we can do is try to be a beam of light for others in need. I believe this is why it is so important to have the Refiners, Lexie's, Honeypig & Dandylions on here continuing to guide. God Bless every single one of you who have made a difference in the lives of these broken woman and men who post here.

I know Lilro. In other publishings there are many photos of what appears to be "happy and good times". She must have had to force those happy faces or maybe she was in a happy moment if him throwing her a crumb. It's heartbreaking. Some people posting are brushing it off as post-par. depression. They have no idea how the cycle of abuse tears someone down and rips their soul apart. Good God he even looks like the poster-child of an abuser. He looks just like a younger Charles Manson. Sorry I had to "go there". But he does to me.

Yes. Those of us who find SR are deeply broken. Alcoholism, abuse, addiction - these are all life & death issues.

We'll lose some of the folks who post here. I looked up the article. It is hard to see the photos of a real face behind that pain.

We'll lose folks who post on SR to alcoholic cirrhosis, to drunk driving accidents, to jail, to overdoses, to abuse, and to suicide.

But we will also help people save themselves. Many people are able to change their lives with the support of this community.

This is a great reminder that this is critical, meaningful service. And we are healing ourselves simultaneously as we try to reach out to others. And some we can't reach in time or with just the right words to soothe their hurt.

Very sad. A prayer for every person who has reached that edge of desperation & taken their own (& in this case a child's also) life. Emotional & verbal abuse can destroy people.

Unfortunately, lots of abusers follow the same script, so it's impossible to say whether this was one of our members. Still, it points up the need to continue to provide support, and also to meet our members where they are, in terms of their emotional readiness to take action. To provide gentle support and encouragement so they can build the confidence to make their lives (and their kids' lives) better.

Heartcore - thank YOU. For reinforcing how meaningful the support is here. It IS literally life or death situations for many. Lexie... i understand many posters' stories are the same but her exact words in one part of her suicide note are identical to what a SR poster wrote here that her abusive husband said about their very young son. From her suicide note: "How about calling your son a pu**y? Or a whinny a** little bitch? Telling him that he’s always going to be stuck up my a**?"

perhaps we should re-state the steps one can take when they find themselves in abusive or untenable situations. i would like to believe that there ARE options, the NO ONE has to suffer needlessly at the hand of another, that NO ONE should feel so trapped they can't see a way out.

perhaps we should re-state what the signs of abuse ARE - the ones that don't START with a fist to the face. and encourage others to leave sooner rather than later? that being nice enough, obedient enough, compliant enough, quiet enough will never overcome abuse.

if right before we settle down to sleep, we smell smoke in our house, we don't just crawl under the covers and hope for the best. we recognize the potential danger and we pay attention. and it is better to get OUT of the house, to safety, and then call for help.

we must encourage each other to recognize the danger signs. and accept that even our chosen loved one CAN hurt us. that not only is addiction progressive, but so is abuse. and abuse is not acceptable - EVER.

Refiner - yes, those words are pretty specific.

It is not unlikely that she was a poster here. I wish she had found the strength to take the risk of fleeing & starting over when she couldn't bear the situation.

Remember too that many humans do have actual chemical depressive disorders, and all the loving support on an Internet forum in the world is not going to pull them up out of the dark place.

I've thought about this story all day. It just strengthens my resolve to try to reach out to folks - both here and in real life - who might be isolated. To actually reach out to them, rather than waiting for them to ask for help. The smallest thing. Even a text saying - "I'm thinking about you today..." Or "wanna get together for coffee tomorrow?"

I know some people do that kind of checking in all the time, but I'm pretty isolative (happily so). I'm working on this very issue (reaching out because others need it, not just when I do) in my life right now. This thread has reinforced that for me.

Anvilhead. Truth-talker. Speaker of real things. Protective & confident voice.

You always make me feel safe. You are the person I would always want in my corner. Your contribution here is invaluable & powerful.

Thank you.

Thank you both heartcore and Anvil... such beautiful strong people that get it and how this news affects us all in so many ways.

I kno what you mean, heartcore....I have been thinking about this all day, also....and about how to reach out to those who come to the forum....

Ms. Dandy,

I've been making an effort to pm folks who are new, start a thread, then disappear. Also, when I remember someone I haven't seen here in a blue moon, I search for their user name & pm them.

When you pm someone it pops on their regular email.

When I was gone on my relapse last year, Soberwolf did this multiple times, & it was a pivotal factor in my getting sober again & returning to these boards.

I have already seen the fruit of my clandestine project in the return of a couple folks who were disappeared. It is a simple effort, but could make all the difference in the world to someone (it did to me).

I don't get an email when I get a pm. It must be some kind of setting you have to turn on (or it's on by default and I turned it off...)

Lexie - I don't know. I do not remember turning it on or off as a preference when I first joined. But I get an email notification every time I receive a personal message...

Ps. And I have actually seen a couple of people return, so it must work some of the time...

It's actually a setting in the User Control Panel, under "Edit Options." I'm not sure what the default setting is, but mine is set to "off."

Maybe we could check in with an administrator & see if the default is (or could be changed to) "on." That would increase the possibilities of being able to recontact folks we were concerned about, & people would still have the option of turning it off.

I volunteer to ask that question & will let you all know the answer on this thread...

Weeelll, you might want to think about that a bit more. Particularly with regard to members who are victims of violence who may be less tech-savvy and keeping their membership here a secret from the abuser. Emails from SR could put some people in jeopardy if they use shared email accounts, or if the abuser has access to their email.

I think the safest default setting is for all communications to be set to "off."