firebolt

Just sending you (((HUGS)))

I know everything seems muddy right now. It's difficult, and confusing, and I just read this whole thread, and it makes me so happy to see these gleaming 'AH-Ha' moments from you!

They add up! Keep moving forward, and you have a HUGE cheering section here!

hearthealth

So daughter heard me changing my appointment time and asked me what that's about. I told her that we will meet with someone to talk to. She doesn't have to say something but it needs to be the truth. She can say what ever she wants to that comes from the heart about dad or mom. She's nervous but also eager to talk to the counselor.

firebolt

Im glad shes excited to go! Ahh if only I was so healthy at a young age to be willing to go get some support!

dandylion

good Morning, hearthealth....thinking of you and wondering how things are going...?
Let us know, if you can.....

hearthealth

It's been a busy week. Full time work and running children to appointments. He has done somethings but it's too little too late. They're just crumbs. I haven't stayed focused on him just on me, the children and my mom. Thanks Dandylion for inquiring.

dandylion

I get it. Especially, with your concern for your mother, on top of other responsibilities...
Wouldn't it be great if you could grow two more arms and legs?

Ladybird579

I am sorry. I didn't know that.

hearthealth

It would be so nice to be cloned, but isn't that why you get married to half your troubles. Mine was doubled. Never thought if he can't be their for the housework he wont be there if something serious happens, like my mother or even me.

dandylion

Yep, I think that healthy couples, with offspring, share the nesting responsibilities, in some fashion. I have been watching the Eagle Cam....and, it is amazing to watch how the parent eagles work together.....

hearthealth

And his was quartered, if even that.

TropicalWinter

About being there when something important happens, I just got a flashback to when I was pregnant all 3 times. I remember the feeling of having to figure out a backup plan for if I went into labor or had some sort of emergency while STBXAH was drunk. Ugh. Hugs to you.

Ariesagain

I've been wanting to double back to this post and address your question. Here's where I believe the disease metaphor is flawed when it comes to addiction: if your husband had any other disease that was terminal if left unaddressed and curable with treatment...say a cancer...would he resist treatment at all cost?

As for Quackers...I believe they come under the heading of "if we don't laugh we'll cry." And I do think it helps to see how very typical these behaviors can be in advanced addiction, as so many codependents have been trained to believe that the situation is unique and all their fault.

Wishing you better days ahead.

hearthealth

Thank you. She is getting weaker by the week. It's sad and hard to see the slow decline of someone no matter what disease.

hearthealth

I stepped away from my mother for a few hours to meet with the counselor. The son is not to happy about the idea. The counselor have me the name a of lawyers in the area that will fight and supportive of GL. That won't be my priority for a while until this phase ends.

dandylion

Hearthealth...I am glad that you finally got to see the counselor, even with all that is going on.
The son doesn't have to like it...he just has to go. As the parent, it is your responsibility and your role regarding those things that are in his best interest.
It is always a bad deal when the tail wags the dog...I believe that he is coming up on the teen years...? Parental boundaries are sooo important, if one wants to survive those years.....
I wonder if watching his father disrespect you and push you around has not made an example for him.....

I know that you have such lot on your plate, right now....
I am thinking a lot about you.....