Lawyer Appointment

Old 01-23-2017, 01:00 PM
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Lawyer Appointment

Just an update. Had a lawyers Appt today. As you know mediation was awful. My AH was being unreasonable. It was decided to go to a final hearing.
While discussing with my lawyer what was going to happen at our court date next week, for the motions to compel, mail was delivered.
Our final hearing date is March 7th. This is where decisions will be made about division of our home, land, and business. It is a huge relief to know the hearing has been scheduled!
I feel like finally, there is a light at the end of the road.
I'm not sure yet how this works. I'm hoping the judge orders the house and land sold, and we split the proceeds.
Just the thought that this is almost over is very comforting. I so need closure to this chapter of my life.
Hopefully, I've learned my lesson about people, relationships, trust, and alcoholism. Very rough lessons to learn.
All I want is enough money to get a little place of my own. And a little in the bank for an emergency. I already have my 2 precious dogs. My AH hasn't even asked about them!
The domestic violence order is up the beginning of March. I don't feel comfortable with it being dropped until the divorce is settled. When my AH doesn't get his way, his anger becomes rage. And he would be given his guns back.
As the hearing gets closer, I'm sure I will be feeling nervous and overwhelmed. After all this is my financial future. I just need to remember this isn't the first time the judge has heard my kind of case.
Even though this news is the end of a chapter of my life, it will be the beginning of a whole new adventure!

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Old 01-23-2017, 01:04 PM
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This is great news!

I can tell you in my area, for a situation such as yours, I hear all the time that the judge orders the property sold w/in a six month time span if you are unable to get financing in your own name. Pretty standard stuff.

I am so happy the date is coming up and you will be taking another step to move forward!

Hugs to you!
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Old 01-23-2017, 01:22 PM
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Hello Zircon, I don't know you but I hope you don't mind me sending my best wishes and thoughts. Cuddle your dogs and imagine your little house xxx
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Old 01-23-2017, 01:36 PM
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Good news! Things are moving along.

Just be aware that you most likely won't get a decision AT that hearing. The judge will probably review everything and issue a decision (assuming all issues were addressed that need to be addressed) within a few days/weeks. Often the judge will give the lawyers an opportunity to summarize their positions in writing after the evidence is presented--it works differently in different courts. I just want you to be prepared so you don't come away feeling let down because it's not all settled that day.

Hang in there--the end is in sight!
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Old 01-23-2017, 05:20 PM
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Keep the faith!!! This has been a long time coming. Its out of your control, give it to God.
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Old 01-24-2017, 07:45 AM
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Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement. This is the last piece to be completed.
It's going to be difficult seeing him in court. As a lot of people here, I gave many years to this man.
My AH has moved on. With a new lady. I truly wouldn't want to be in her shoes. She's getting a man, that is broken, not the one I married.
I'm hoping the court is fair to both of us. And I understand it might take time for the court to make a decision. I've waited this long, certainly can wait a little longer.
I'm hoping the court orders our home and the property sold, and we split the proceeds. This will make things less complicated!
A good friend of mine, helped me look at this in a positive way. She said that, I have a lot of this behind me. I've moved and have established my own home. Where my AH, hasn't had to face up to the reality of the situation yet. Nothing has changed for him. I've had over a year to grief, the loss of a relationship, my home, and everything I've know for the past 13 years. My AH hasn't done any of that, because he remains in our home, pretending to go to a business that he claims has 0 income, and has his sister paying his bills.
If nothing else, I believe this court date will be a wake up call for him!! Not sure how things will change but they definitely will change for him.
Me, on the other hand, my life won't change that much related to this court date. I might be better off financially. Emotionally, I've lost everything already over the past year, and have started a new life. As hard as it was, I'm healing.
My AH has all of that to look forward too!
So, however this works out, whatever the court decides, I'm definitely in a better place than last year.
I can walk away from the court room that day, and know I have a home to return too.
My AH has a lot to deal with financially and emotionally during the next year. I really don't care, but I'm finally seeing the situation for what it is!! A year ago, I was questioning that my AH got the better end of the deal! Now, I'm realizing that is not the case!
I now know I made a good decision moving when I did.
I'm rambling! Sorry, just processing, this whole court date thing!

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Old 01-25-2017, 12:34 AM
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Active alcoholics tend to do it harder than the people they let down. You're sounding stronger and more positive. Best of luck.
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Old 01-25-2017, 07:27 AM
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So good to hear this "ramble" zircon. Please let us know how it goes.

Because of the alcohol, your STBXAH hasn't dealt with any of the grief. I've heard that addicts stay at the emotional age at which they started using.
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