Not the only crazy!

Old 01-18-2017, 10:12 PM
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Not the only crazy!

I have been to three al anon meetings in the past four days. I see some of the same people at the meetings. I hear behaviors that I have committed. Not sure why, but it helps to know I'm not the only one.

To those of you struggling....
You are not the only person who enables an addict even when you think you are doing what is best your family.
You are not the only person trying to control how much, or how often your A drinks.
You are not the only person to hide car keys, pour out alcohol, search for the hidden bottles, count the empties.
You are not the only person to think your A's drinkng can be solved if you try harder, if you give them better logic, if you do SOMETHING they will get better.

The only person I can control is me. It starts with me and ends with me. I am learning. I am learning; to listen, to share, and to be grateful.

Thank you SR for your support.
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Old 01-18-2017, 11:30 PM
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BTB, it was HUGE for me to realize I wasn't alone...at my first meeting, that was exactly what I said when asked what brought me there--"my hub drinks and lies, and I feel so alone."

Once I realized that I wasn't the only one doing and feeling the things I was doing and feeling, I started to realize that XAH was probably a lot like the other A's I heard/read about, too.

It made feel better to know I wasn't the only one, of course, but the bigger thing, I think, was that I was then able to listen to and learn from other people's experiences. I knew that "not being the only one" also meant "not a special snowflake", so if other people told me that untreated alcoholism only got worse, it was true--his case was NOT an exception. If other people told me that I needed to stay on my side of the street, it was likely true--I was NOT somehow exempt from that practice.

I'm glad you're going to Alanon and I'm glad you're finding help there. The combination of Alanon and SR was a powerful combo for me, and it sounds like you may find the same. Wishing you strength and clarity!
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:02 AM
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Yes!

When you find a support system that is right for you, it's so amazing to feel like, for the first time in a long time, you are not alone! It makes such a difference to not only have people who support you, but have went through the same experiences you have. They absolutely get it.

Tight hugs. Glad you are seeking support!
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:31 AM
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It's so important for me to keep hearing that I'm not alone and that I'm not crazy, because I've felt so alone and crazy for so long!! Thank you for posting this and sharing your journey with us!! <3
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Old 01-19-2017, 07:37 AM
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Originally Posted by SaveYourHeart View Post
It's so important for me to keep hearing that I'm not alone and that I'm not crazy, because I've felt so alone and crazy for so long!! Thank you for posting this and sharing your journey with us!! <3
Um, nobody said you're not crazy--the point is that we are ALL made a bit crazy (some of us a LOT crazy) from living with someone else's drinking. If you look at Al-Anon's Second Step, it talks about being RESTORED to sanity--which implies that, when we begin, we are something less than sane.

The point of the OP is that she was relieved to find she wasn't the ONLY crazy person in the rooms.
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Old 01-19-2017, 10:46 AM
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The NA information pamphlet Who, What, How, and Why describes it as:

We feel that our approach to the disease of addiction is completely realistic, for the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel. We feel that our way is practical, for one addict can best understand and help another addict.

The 12 step groups are called FELLOWSHIPS for a reason. for it is within the rooms, when one wounded warrior reaches out to and shares with another, that true healing begins. when we learn we are NOT alone. and that there IS a solution.
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Old 01-10-2018, 06:49 PM
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Bump!
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Old 01-10-2018, 07:41 PM
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Thanks for bumping this is GREAT info. Just as important for alcoholics to find fellowship and know they are not alone in their struggles, us Codie’s and recovered Codie’s need that too! SR is THE best place. Just....love. We are not alone.
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Old 01-11-2018, 09:33 AM
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I'm seriously considering attending an Al-anon meeting this week. I was going to last week, but it was on Saturday at 8 pm. By the time I found the local meeting, it was 7 pm and I was in my pajamas. LOL
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