Wondering what kind of evening we shall have.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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Wondering what kind of evening we shall have.
Happy New Year all!
AH has been gone all day, hanging with brother. Spent the last 4/5 hours at the bar watching sports. Haven't heard from him in a bit. Not sure when he will be home, hoping it is after the kids are asleep.
Had a great session with my counselor yesterday and I am feeling empowered sand confident in my judgment and intuitions. I am a bit worried for tonight to be honest. Just wanting a quiet evening no drama or annoying events.
Not sure about my reason for posting. But I know you all understand.
AH has been gone all day, hanging with brother. Spent the last 4/5 hours at the bar watching sports. Haven't heard from him in a bit. Not sure when he will be home, hoping it is after the kids are asleep.
Had a great session with my counselor yesterday and I am feeling empowered sand confident in my judgment and intuitions. I am a bit worried for tonight to be honest. Just wanting a quiet evening no drama or annoying events.
Not sure about my reason for posting. But I know you all understand.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
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Originally Posted by thousandwords53 
Not sure about my reason for posting. But I know you all understand.
We should all be able to enjoy that.
Drama free zone in a drama free home.
M-Bob
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 182
Boy do I understand. Hugs to you! It's 10 pm my time and my AH just left to go "play pool". He started drinking this afternoon (in secret) and wasn't happy with my distancing myself from his behavior. I used to worry when he left like this, but now it's a relief. I too am hoping that he stays out until our child is in bed and I am sound asleep in the guest room.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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Doing my best to detach.
Sure enough he came home highly intoxicated. Drove home. And also drove some new friend from the bar home also, out of town the other way. Lovely. .
Kids were headed to bed and had minimal interaction with him. They are down for the night.
AH is downstairs in his recliner, hiccuping and passing out. I have decided a bubble bath and a book are what my evening entails. This is the third night in a row I have been alone. I prepare for it mentally by not counting on him to share the evenings with me.
It is 8:15pm here
Sure enough he came home highly intoxicated. Drove home. And also drove some new friend from the bar home also, out of town the other way. Lovely. .
Kids were headed to bed and had minimal interaction with him. They are down for the night.
AH is downstairs in his recliner, hiccuping and passing out. I have decided a bubble bath and a book are what my evening entails. This is the third night in a row I have been alone. I prepare for it mentally by not counting on him to share the evenings with me.
It is 8:15pm here
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Bubble bath sounds good! Hope the rest of the night was peaceful for you. 
The late Mr. Seren and I would always make other plans if we went to see his son because you just can't count on an active alcoholic to participate in any plans that have been made to include them.
The late Mr. Seren and I would always make other plans if we went to see his son because you just can't count on an active alcoholic to participate in any plans that have been made to include them.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
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Hi Thousandwords,
Your post brings back so many memories. My ex would go out and I wouldn't hear from him all night. I don't know if he realized but he would always tell me that he would be home at 11 PM. He would normally come home well after the bars closed and I would be a wreck I was so worried about him. Did he get into a fight? Is he passed out somewhere? Was there a car accident? Every. Single. Time.
It took me years before I was able to stop caring. It's sad when your long term partner doesn't come home until the sun comes up and you are not compelled to shoot off a single text. He seemed more likely to apologize profusely if I didn't react... like he could feel me pulling away because let's face it... someone not caring where you have been all night is generally a bad sign.
I am glad you were able to put yourself first. A bubble bath and a book sounds *wonderful*
Your post brings back so many memories. My ex would go out and I wouldn't hear from him all night. I don't know if he realized but he would always tell me that he would be home at 11 PM. He would normally come home well after the bars closed and I would be a wreck I was so worried about him. Did he get into a fight? Is he passed out somewhere? Was there a car accident? Every. Single. Time.
It took me years before I was able to stop caring. It's sad when your long term partner doesn't come home until the sun comes up and you are not compelled to shoot off a single text. He seemed more likely to apologize profusely if I didn't react... like he could feel me pulling away because let's face it... someone not caring where you have been all night is generally a bad sign.
I am glad you were able to put yourself first. A bubble bath and a book sounds *wonderful*
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Join Date: Jan 2017
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AH would go to just "play pool" also or watch a game etc .and then make a disappearing act for 4-6 hours until close. Didn't like those nights... worrying wanting him to just come home but didn't at the same time because it would be drama (lose/lose) or until kids were asleep. Drama free zones ,yes! I have more sanctuary and detachment from that with him being out of the home but holidays are always the worst.
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Originally Posted by SparkleKitty
How was your night, 1KWords?
And thank you for asking
My night was fine. Quiet. I can tell my detachment is causing some strain between us, but this is what it's like actually reinforcing my boundaries. And it's kind of nice! AH hasn't been around much for the past week. I've gotten so much done at home, redecorated and reorganized the den into a very nice playroom and art zone. Tackled laundry mountain after years of it being a permanent fixture in said den. Lol. And the biggest silver lining would be that the kids have been playing very well together. And have enjoyed their new playroom, have honored the new rules of keeping it tidy, and are currently playing independently while I get dishes dones. Feels great.
So my "bad" night let me reflect on some positives.
My counselor really helped me validate I am navigating this ok. I feel more confident than I had been. I do not need an exact timeline, but progress is progress!
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