hi
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: uk
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
they say that people stop maturing when they start drinking......and alcohol becomes the answer to everything. once that is taken away the body and the mind suffer withdrawals - the chemical balance in the brain is all messed up - depression sets in along with an overall anhedonia.
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
IF she stays the course, and IF she throws herself into a program of recovery, and IF she's all the blessings she HAS in her life, she stands a good shot at staying sober. but it's for life.....she will NEVER be a normal drinker again, she will never be able to just have a glass of wine now and then.
What amount of people in recovery achieve this life long sober nirvana?
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yup, I see this as a problem. This is why quitting for someone else--even someone deeply loved, like a husband or child--doesn't work. Life has to feel sucky enough AND realize that drinking is what's making it sucky, to really WANT to get sober.
I was fortunate--I had that realization before anything irreversible happened. Well, I shouldn't say that--I think I did do some irreversible damage to my health--but before I wound up arrested, losing my job, losing my home, ruining my credit, etc. For a lot of people that--and worse--has to happen before they have that moment of clarity. And there's really nothing you can do to hurry that along, other than making sure that you don't soften the blows when they come.
All the more reason for you to get some support for yourself, so if the worst happens (and it very well may, given her feelings about sobriety at the moment), you will be in the best position to take care of yourself and your kiddos.
I was fortunate--I had that realization before anything irreversible happened. Well, I shouldn't say that--I think I did do some irreversible damage to my health--but before I wound up arrested, losing my job, losing my home, ruining my credit, etc. For a lot of people that--and worse--has to happen before they have that moment of clarity. And there's really nothing you can do to hurry that along, other than making sure that you don't soften the blows when they come.
All the more reason for you to get some support for yourself, so if the worst happens (and it very well may, given her feelings about sobriety at the moment), you will be in the best position to take care of yourself and your kiddos.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by EnterSandman
What amount of people in recovery achieve this life long sober nirvana?
Staying sober is not only a lifestyle change, it requires a whole lot of internal rearrangement of priorities. It amounts to a major personality shift. Pretty dramatic changes have to happen, which is where a program like AA can help. Lots of internal reflection and practical exercises in being a person who can enjoy life without mind-altering chemicals. But you have to be in the right mind-set to dedicate yourself in that way. In AA it's often referred to as the "gift of desperation."
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