what should i do?

Old 12-29-2016, 02:22 PM
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LostSoul101's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 8
what should i do?

My AW snooped on the Alanon forum 12 hours after i joined and told me she had read my posts. So, i joined here as she didn't know and now has asked if i am a member of this forum as she is thinking of joining. I over reacted and now she knows.....

Just want to be able to discuss things with people who are having/ had similar experiences and get some help/ understanding of what is going on in my own head. So i now think i am going to have to change my identity again to be able to speak freely and know im not being watched.
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Old 12-29-2016, 02:32 PM
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A work in progress
LexieCat's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Send a pm to the admins here and they will change your name for you. I'd suggest using a computer she doesn't have access to, and keeping your posts general in nature. If you post about specific details, alter them a bit, maybe adding kids that you don't have, pets you don't have, a different job, or adding a location to your profile that isn't where you live.

Pretty annoying, I know, but that's what happens when your partner doesn't respect your privacy.
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Old 12-29-2016, 04:01 PM
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teatreeoil007's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
What Lexie said.

Addicts don't like it when co-dependents change, stop enabling, and start to take new steps to find their best fulfillment in life. She might feel threatened by that. I don't have any sage advice for how to deal with that except just try to have good, helpful communication with her as best you can. You really do need the support of others who understand, just as she needs the help of others who understand what she might be going through.
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Old 12-30-2016, 09:43 AM
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firebolt's Avatar
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THere are private facebook groups as well - noone can see your posts in them when you join.
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Old 12-31-2016, 03:23 PM
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I used to worry that my family would find this website and figure out who I am , but now I am just concerned with the fact that I need support and understanding. If they could possibly look at at things through my perspective, all of the better! Pushing things under the rug, hiding issues and putting on a "fake show" is such a big part of addiction and I just can't handle doing that part of it any longer.
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Old 12-31-2016, 03:38 PM
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Refiner's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,384
If she reads ur posts are you upset BC she would then raise h*ll with you about how you feel and cause you more grief you'd rather avoid? I have an A NPD sister that no doubt has found this forum and reads what I have to say. But I'm NC with her, so it doesn't really matter thank God.
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Old 12-31-2016, 04:30 PM
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mylifeismine's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 804
Logging out when you are done keeps your info from being seen also.

I always log out and don't use the main computer. Please keep posting
for the great support and wisdom you will get here, so worth it.
Alanon is a lifesaver for me - have you one to any meetings?
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