Newbie with child and AW
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 5
Newbie with child and AW
I have to say as a newbie here in the SR friends & family forum, I have been spending a good deal of time going through the various threads and see how much I have in common with so many others. I'm married to my HS sweetheart, and we've been together the entire time minus 8 or so years through the college and post-college years. We have now been married for 15 yrs with a 12 yr old son.
She's always been a 'social drinker' and heavy smoker, but things have been getting worse and worse on the drinking front for the past few years (smoking has always been bad). The past couple years I've noticed her drinking more during the week when she used to only drink on weekends. I now realize that this issue goes back way farther than I ever realized.
After catching her driving drunk with my son after picking him up from school, it took her me & her parents and a drive to the ER to finally get her admitted to the psych ward in order to force her to stay at the hospital. This was ultimately decided after her threats of suicide. All-in-all this lasted a weekend plus a few days before she was drinking again.
Finally got her to agree to do 3 or so weeks of inpatient which again, seemed to work for about 2-3 weeks after she got out before she was back at it. Now she wont' do anything. She won't even attend AA meetings. Nothing.
I really enjoyed the 'sticky' post/thread on talking to an attorney, because I have now done that and it has helped to open my eyes in terms of what my options are legally.
To wrap up I have been very open and honest with my son on this terrible disease, and he is tuned-in to the point where he can spot when she's been drinking as quickly as I. Its certainly not the future for him or me and I think I'm ready to schedule that follow-up appt with the attorney. I have to stop being an enabler.
She's always been a 'social drinker' and heavy smoker, but things have been getting worse and worse on the drinking front for the past few years (smoking has always been bad). The past couple years I've noticed her drinking more during the week when she used to only drink on weekends. I now realize that this issue goes back way farther than I ever realized.
After catching her driving drunk with my son after picking him up from school, it took her me & her parents and a drive to the ER to finally get her admitted to the psych ward in order to force her to stay at the hospital. This was ultimately decided after her threats of suicide. All-in-all this lasted a weekend plus a few days before she was drinking again.
Finally got her to agree to do 3 or so weeks of inpatient which again, seemed to work for about 2-3 weeks after she got out before she was back at it. Now she wont' do anything. She won't even attend AA meetings. Nothing.
I really enjoyed the 'sticky' post/thread on talking to an attorney, because I have now done that and it has helped to open my eyes in terms of what my options are legally.
To wrap up I have been very open and honest with my son on this terrible disease, and he is tuned-in to the point where he can spot when she's been drinking as quickly as I. Its certainly not the future for him or me and I think I'm ready to schedule that follow-up appt with the attorney. I have to stop being an enabler.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
Welcome ebroadcast. You came to the right place.
Addiction is such a heartbreaking thing to deal with... for all of you.
It sounds like you are taking the right steps to do what you need to do for you and your son.
Sending strength!!!
Addiction is such a heartbreaking thing to deal with... for all of you.
It sounds like you are taking the right steps to do what you need to do for you and your son.
Sending strength!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 5
Is it rational to say that there are certain people who are more predisposed to addiction? Be it genetic, environmental, or some of both. I'm not talking alcohol or tobacco specifically, I'm saying in general.
That's something that really has me thinking through this ordeal; that this woman who I have known for so long, and knew that she was a long term smoker, knew that she had nervous almost OCD behavior; somehow trivialized all of it thinking she would change her ways or re-prioritize what's most important in her life as we got older, had kids, etc.
I feel like I've become so cynical, even though I tell myself it's being realistic. Sorry just venting
That's something that really has me thinking through this ordeal; that this woman who I have known for so long, and knew that she was a long term smoker, knew that she had nervous almost OCD behavior; somehow trivialized all of it thinking she would change her ways or re-prioritize what's most important in her life as we got older, had kids, etc.
I feel like I've become so cynical, even though I tell myself it's being realistic. Sorry just venting
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 8
Welcome ebroadcast,
I too have only just join and are situations are similar in ways.
I have an AW and a son too, who is 7.5years. Even though she has never driven with my son "drunk" to my knowledge, she has driven with him whilst she was well over the limit and her senses impaired the morning after. She would drink most evenings and think nothing of taking him on the school run in the morning. Which not quite as bad still makes me angry.
I believe my wife also began as a social drinker and the alcohol has just crept into the house more and more. The past 3 years it has increased massively.
It is a positive that your son is at an age where he can understand with maturity what is happening and you definitely in my opinion done the right thing by telling him.
I still love my wife but don't like the ways she has acted, these are tough times but the more i read about the subject, you have got to do what is right for you as you have been doing what is right for everyone else for far too long
If you would like to private message me at any time to get another dads perspective, please feel free to do so.
I too have only just join and are situations are similar in ways.
I have an AW and a son too, who is 7.5years. Even though she has never driven with my son "drunk" to my knowledge, she has driven with him whilst she was well over the limit and her senses impaired the morning after. She would drink most evenings and think nothing of taking him on the school run in the morning. Which not quite as bad still makes me angry.
I believe my wife also began as a social drinker and the alcohol has just crept into the house more and more. The past 3 years it has increased massively.
It is a positive that your son is at an age where he can understand with maturity what is happening and you definitely in my opinion done the right thing by telling him.
I still love my wife but don't like the ways she has acted, these are tough times but the more i read about the subject, you have got to do what is right for you as you have been doing what is right for everyone else for far too long
If you would like to private message me at any time to get another dads perspective, please feel free to do so.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
