Oversharing
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
My cousin is an extreme introvert but a lovely person and I found myself oversharing with her recently and she looked shocked. She just got her Masters in counseling but even she was like, "Ummm, yeah, that might have been too much...."
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by FireSprite 
I agree that it can be hard to distinguish reasonable sharing if as a Codie in recovery we are overcoming things like secret-keeping, the inability to lean on others, etc. Definitely all about finding the balance between the 2 points of over & under sharing.
One of the often overlooked root issues with oversharing can be that it's a seemingly counterintuitive way of decreasing vulnerability. Seems wrong, right? That by oversharing you would be INCREASING your vulnerability, right? Sometimes not. Sometimes that's a method of word-vomiting all over someone in a way that makes them keep their distance the same way they would if you had literally walked up to them & physically vomited all over them. By throwing out allll of your secrets & vulnerabilities you actually overwhelm others in a way that's subtly manipulative. Brene Brown calls it "floodlighting".
One of the often overlooked root issues with oversharing can be that it's a seemingly counterintuitive way of decreasing vulnerability. Seems wrong, right? That by oversharing you would be INCREASING your vulnerability, right? Sometimes not. Sometimes that's a method of word-vomiting all over someone in a way that makes them keep their distance the same way they would if you had literally walked up to them & physically vomited all over them. By throwing out allll of your secrets & vulnerabilities you actually overwhelm others in a way that's subtly manipulative. Brene Brown calls it "floodlighting".
Love learning more about why I am the way I am and how I hope to improve in the future. Love Brene Brown, as well!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
On this subject.....I think that it is ;very important to, first......Know Thy Audience!
this leaves it to us, first, to make a judgement before speaking......
"Read" the other person/persons.....
And, if you can't read them, or you haven't had enough opportunity to get to know them....always err on the side of caution.....lol!
I think of it like...If you were the comedian who is asked to entertain at the Annual Press Dinner at the White House.....you would not tell the same jokes as you would at a private club, like Second City......
this leaves it to us, first, to make a judgement before speaking......
"Read" the other person/persons.....
And, if you can't read them, or you haven't had enough opportunity to get to know them....always err on the side of caution.....lol!
I think of it like...If you were the comedian who is asked to entertain at the Annual Press Dinner at the White House.....you would not tell the same jokes as you would at a private club, like Second City......
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Originally Posted by velma929
No facebook friending! I have been known to accept friendships after one of us leaves the workplace.
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