StandingStrong

One of the things that I really wanted to focus on was my recovery after I had AH move out of the house. Another thing was that I wanted to get my life back! And honestly, there were some things that I wanted to do to just prove that I could - not just to myself but I wanted my AH to see that I could live fine without him - and live even better!
Granted, these things happened in phases but I was determined. And I have really accomplished alot. :8a:

Today I was thinking about my AH. How though he doesn't drink anymore (other than the one time at the Nascar race), I realize that so much of our issues are still issues. I also was thinking about how he still is in denial and won't seem to accept the fact that I'm going to see an attorney and I'm ending this chaotic mess. Big realization - no wonder he doesn't believe me after all those years of empty threats I'd make!!!!!!!!

But while I was thinking all these things and coming to the realizations that I was....a song popped into my head! So I thought I'd share as it was just interesting how the mind works!


Watch Me
by Lorrie Morgan

Album :
Submitted by : Nadine
Corrected by : Sarah


The more I needed, the less you gave,
I guess I thought that it worked that way,
You never would listen
And now that I'm leavin',
You're not believin' a word I say.

Chorus:
Oh, if you I think I won't go, watch me,
Whoah, watch me prove you wrong today,
You don't even know you lost me,
You think I'd always stay,
Oh, just watch me walk away.

Don't tell me that it can't be done,
That the world is colder without someone,
You might get lonely, it might get crazy,
But this time, baby, I'm good as gone.

Repeat Chorus:

Cab on the street, hand on the door,
Bag at my feet, need I say more?
Whoah, watch me.

You don't even know you lost me,
You think I'd always stay,
Ooo, just watch me walk away,
Just watch me walk away.

Repeat Chorus:

brightlight

I am such a codie that I see him leaving in that song and not me. Strange! I have been looking back at all the years together drinking and not drinking and even if he quits drinking I still have a problem. He is just plain selfish!!!! It is all about him and even if I should think a minute it is about me then he is gone!

gelfling

Wow Standing...

Aren't you awesome. Congrats on following through on the threats. It takes a strong person to do what you're doing.

Reading your post makes me realize that even when the A is our of our lives, the damage is already done. Thank God for alanon!!!

Grace and Blessings, Kathy

StandingStrong

OMG gelfling, this is sooo true!!!!
In hindsite, I realize that I had began my own recovery before we finally split up - but it was when he left that I really became determined.
And though I do know that I've come a long way - I know that I have lots farther to go.
But yes, the damage has already been done. In so many ways.