Nothing has changed.........

Old 09-18-2001, 03:12 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2001
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Unhappy Nothing has changed.........

Feeling very alone right now.Do I have to leave my husband in order to keep my sanity.Our son is still drinking and causing problems for himself and the rest of the household.My husband gave him a deadline to leave our home but he never sticks to it.Things are getting unbearable for me.I just feel so helpless and I don't know what to do.I checked out the links and thought about intervention but I can't do it alone and I'm more depressed than ever.Today I had a panic attack at work.I can't concentrate.
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Old 09-18-2001, 03:32 PM
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smoke gets in my eyes's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
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Hello Faith.
Is your husband attending Al-anon? He needs to go! Making ultimatums you cannot stand by is no way to deal with an addict. Your son is only learning what he can get by with.
You are the only one who knows when you have had enough. When that time comes, do what you have to do. It's understandable that you want to stand with your husband, but he is being unclear about his own position. Clarity is a must.
Keep posting.

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Old 09-18-2001, 04:06 PM
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What has helped for me is to talk to professionals. I've called the crisis hotline a few times, and the AA hotline a few times as well. They were very helpful and helped me get a handle on things, i.e. not have a breakdown. By the end of the conversations, I wasn't sobbing any more and felt much better. They also have good suggestions, or at least help you find your own answers. Again, there should be treatment centers or ? that have free intervention classes. Just going to one relieves some stress and is empowering to begin to get educated on the disease, even if your husband will go or not. Try to be as honest with him as possible how important his support is, then let go. Personally, the thing that helps me the most is to realize that I can't do it alone, and I don't have to. I ask God to take it, because it gets too heavy to deal with on my own. I don't know if you're spiritual or anything, but this is my experience, I hope it applies somehow. What also helps, is to take it a day, an hour, a minute at a time and take care of yourself first. Take a bubble bath, read something inspirational, meditate, talk to friends/family. I hope that doesn't sound too simplistic - I know you want answers and a resolution right now. That's been my natural response anyway. Take care and keep reaching out, help is there. God bless,
Old 09-19-2001, 06:10 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 17

Thank you both with all the encouragement in your replys.Yes I am a strong believer in God .Its faith in God that has sustained me in trying to cope with all that I'm dealing with right now.That is why I picked the username I have.I have been seeing a therapist for years and I've gone into great detail with all the things I can't seem to get a grip on.As far as my son goes my therapist has continued to tell me "You need to put your son out" And if you don't he will never take responsibility for his own life.My husband isn't getting any outside help so I can to a point understand his reluctance to do what I think will help our son in the long run.I have been to Codependant classes and have read alot of books on the subject but he hasn't.I take medication for panic attacks and depression but he doesn't.I guss I'll just have to take this one day at a time.Thanks for your help and I will continue to post. Peace
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