Expanding

Walking away from people who are manipulative, who try to tell me who I should be or what I should do (when it's in service of them or a projection), who use guilt to get what they want. Who don't respect me as a person and allow me to be me. Who take advantage of my kindness. Who don't respect my boundaries!

I am so happy when I think of where I am as opposed to where I would have been if I hadn't learned such hard lessons. I am so happy that the gut wrenching pain is over, that I am now able to deal with sadness in a constructive or healthy way... all that pain was worth it. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I cried constantly but it was so worth it to get through to the other side. I still have issues with anxiety and seeking validation but it doesn't all seem so hopeless anymore. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and it gets brighter everyday. Things are not perfect but they are okay!

dandylion

Expanding...it sounds like you are coming out of the tail-end of the grieving process.....at least, the worst part.......

Expanding

I agree! There are still moments of pain but it's so much more manageable. This forum was a blessing, I couldn't be happier that I reached out when I did

firebolt

That pain will still rear its ugly head from time to time, but look at the strength, resources and peace bubble you have around you to deal with it.

THis update makes me so so happy!!

qtpi

One of my thoughts lately- is it normal to be surrounded by loving caring people? Is this my new normal? Or is it just a moment in time and is a normal life to be surrounded by turkeys? I spent the weekend with FOO and it was just okay... but my siblings - not to judge- they are so different from me. Individually each seems to not treat herself with love and kindness.... just purely from a health standpoint- poor diet, no exercise, little attention paid to basic hygiene. Honestly I was once the same way in my early twenties. I had to learn self care. So now I ask- it seems to me part of self care is to select friends and lovers who are good to you- and to discern who you should avoid because they bring you down.

LifeRecovery

This for me was the bigger challenge around my co-dependency. It was in place before I picked the spouse that got me here (bad choices around self-care and how I spent my time), and frankly I am finding it is the part that keeps me working on my recovery. If I don't I slip into unwanted behaviors.

I FINALLY have some good balance in place and am starting to feel better about who I choose to ask into my life and the energy I expend on those relationships. I had to work through a lot of friendships and patterns though to get here.

It is possible, and I am much happier for having done it.

Bekindalways

Oh my dear God do I remember that pain!! It hurt so very horribly.

Congrats to you Expanding for coming through most of it. Joy, peace and continuing healing to you!

Maudcat

You sound good, Expanding. Glad to see it.

caretaker88

Hi Expanding,
I have been following your story since your first post. I am very proud of all you have accomplished and how much you have grown! I know how difficult it is! Great job!

PhoenixJ

Expanding

Thank you all! I want to put it out there so people can see you can get through whatever hell it is you're going through. When I first joined I had to trust that strangers had my best interest in mind. After going through everything with the ex is was a very hard leap to make but at that point I had nothing to lose. I love that this community exists, I never realized how vital support was to success. I feel like I owe a lot of people my life because I finally have one. Have a great day everyone

BeachPlease

I've found that strangers will sometimes treat you better than family, because they have nothing to gain from helping you. They just help because they want to.

Good for you, I'm glad you're coming out on the other side. Hope to join you one day.