Just a little overwhelmed - not in a bad way..
 

So things are okay I guess. AH is still voluntarily checked into his rehab program and made over 20 meetings in a week. He sounds well over the phone. He has been asked to read a couple of times in a few of the meetings. He shares a little but mostly listens. He mentioned to me he and another guy will attend a meeting this evening that are mostly business men because he is wanting to network himself since he is looking for a job. I couldn't believe what I was hearing - my AH wants to network himself for a job at an AA meeting!!??? Is this for real?

Another thing he said was he is so relieved to finally stop lying to himself. He said lying to me and the kids was "easy" because we knew he was lying but knowing that he was lying to himself was eating him alive until he finally admitted he was powerless and was ready to surrender and no longer fight it any longer. I've never heard him say things like this either - maybe he just might be serious this time.

So I have also been working on my recovery - reading my literature each day. I am excited about going to my new meeting this Tuesday. I might even have the courage to share. The kids are singing and smiling and the house is quiet. I mean we have the normal daily stuff but the atmosphere is light and I find myself lightening up a bit as well. A little more relaxed, if you will.

Most of you know he is unemployed and I am struggling with being the sole provider. So remember my "good egg" neighbor? Well he showed up today and handed me a gift card, as he does each year, but he tells me "Merry Christmas, this is for the kids. Make sure you take care of them this Christmas because I know this had been a hard year for all of you". I thanked him and he left and was on his way. I checked the balance on the card and it was $100 - I burst into tears. He practically bought my kids their Christmas gifts. What a blessing....

I know we are all in different places in our lives but I am so overwhelmed with his generosity that I would hope each of you can take a moment and count the small blessings in your life today, no matter what your situation.

Much love my friends
:grouphug:

Ohhhh, knowthe triggers....reading this brought tears to my eyes......

It is so powerful, what one act of kindness can do!

Glad for the new meeting, glad for the gift from your neighbor, glad you're continuing to take the next step as it presents itself to you.

http://s30.postimg.org/3po1virb5/tak...irst_step1.jpg

Your story brought tears to my eyes too, KTT. Also, I can sure relate to the feeling of lightness in one's house when the A is gone. My girls and I . . . we sing all the time. :)

Prayers to you and your family

Your neighbor sounds like the very definition of "neighbor." Maybe someday you can pay the kindness forward. If more people would look out for each other, this would be a nicer world.

Oh, and about the "networking" thing. Really nothing wrong with it--a lot of folks are willing to help out a fellow alcoholic who is serious about making a fresh start. Most people won't stick their neck out, professionally, for someone who's BS-ing. And nobody can see through the BS like another alcoholic.

Might keep him on the right path. IF he is serious about his recovery.

He told me when he interviews with people he doesn't want to lie to them about why he was terminated. I have mixed feelings about that BUT this is his choice. I just think this all played out the way it did for a reason. I am learning that I don't need to focus on that reason and just move forward in a positive motion and don't look back!!

Hug to you KTT!

Thanks for the good egg story.