I took the fish to the the pet store just to flush them there. The children don't need to know the details.

That reminds me...

One of my mom's sayings when we were growing up is that if she had it to do over again, she'd have raised guppies rather than kids. I always assumed it was the flushability factor--children tend to clog the plumbing.

My ex (kiddos' dad) thought that was hysterical, and we started referring to our kids as the guppies. When we talk, I will ask him for the latest "gupdate" on the kids. On Mothers' Day or Fathers' Day, we wish each other a "Happy GuppyMom Day" or "GuppyDad Day."

We were grateful when they got their own bowls, but they do swim back to the home aquarium from time to time.

I think we should all just take a moment to breathe. Animals with superpowers? They do not- the are humans that take their totem animal form at night. Tupperware to squirrel. Amway to possum. Goldfish to toilet.
There was a news feature here recently- a big 7 foot red kangaroo (old man red) had this guy's pig-dog in a headlock. The guy hit the k. in the face to release the dog. The k. looked at bit annoyed (big buggers- very,very strong)HA! One time- winter in the mountain bush (Grampians) in Victoria. 2 large adult male koalas fell from their tree (fighting- koala naughties season)- both about the size of a small rotty. They landed with a god awful bang on the tin roof.

They fought for about 20 minutes. Imagine a very upset wookie- triple the volume and double it. Weirdest sound. Strong buggers too- huge claws. BTW- they are NOT bears- they are marsupials.

We heard this gawdawful screeching one day, and it was Mr Smooth Raccoon giving his ladylove the business in a tree outside our front door. Evidently he was doing it wrong, because she would turn and hiss and screech at him, but not make a move to leave. I'm surprised there were any leaves left on the tree from all the shakin' goin' on!!!!! Sounded like 10 cats in a cement mixer.

Lex
That squirel video cracked me up!!!

Mike--
Your story is epic. I laughed all the way through it (that, and Lexie's video).