CaptainM

This past summer I attended my first Al-Anon meeting. And at that meeting I was a mess (nervous, scared, etc.). The people in the meeting were great and welcoming and encouraged me to share if I felt up to it - I kept it brief. After the meeting two women came up to me to give me a hug and high five for coming to my first meeting. I told them the quick overview of my story (married 2 years to an AH and so confused about everything) and one of the women looked at me and said, "Run. I am finally leaving my AH after 30 years of marriage. You have so much more life to live, and it will be better without AH."

At the time I was too scared to do anything, but today I'm so happy I am "running. " Soon (fingers crossed) my AH will be my xAH.

I never was able to make it to that particular Al-Anon meeting again - it was at a tricky time for me. However, this past weekend I was getting my nails done (self care ) and the "Run" woman walked in!!! I couldn't believe it - we were in a completely different town and for some reason that afternoon I "felt" like I deserved some self care, hence my manicure. She and I gave each other a knowing smile, but left it at that.

Totally believe my Higher Power was working and reminding me that I'm on the right path.

ChloeRose63

What a great story. I love to hear of fate walking (running" lol) into our lives. Thank You, Powers That Be!

PhoenixJ

Prayers and support to you Captain.

firebolt

I love the subtle and not so subtle signs we receive that we are on the right path. And yay for self care!! You sound fantastic!

GreenEyes02

Wow, what an amazing coincidence. Plus, a manicure to boot! I am glad you are heeding her advice and that you feel so great about it.

atalose

I always giggle to myself when I read someone coming here to SR looking for success stories…………and now we have another one!!!

thousandwords53

This is awesome

Bekindalways

Love the story M!

May calm seas, advantages winds and and safe ports be in your future ;-)

maia1234

I think we all come here for the success story of getting our addict sober and living happily ever after.

When we r here long enough, our success stories end up about our happiness. Hats off to you my friend. You keep running, like Forest Gump!!

TobeC

No one at an Al Anon meeting or an AA meeting should be giving you marriage advice or make a recommendation for you to run. What's good for them isn't necessarily what's good for you. It is not marriage counseling but a support structure to help you focus on you. That's a clear crossing of the lines and she is minding your business and not her own. It seems people find comfort in blame and not realizing that each person needs to own 100% of their half of the problem. Take that stuff with a grain of salt. She's not Dr. Phil and you're vulnerable and emotional. Work on you and only you. Your run lady needs to do the same.

CaptainM

Thank you all for the kind words!

TobeC - you are right, Al-Anon is not for providing marriage advice. This conversation happened after the meeting, and I think what she said was more of a knee-jerk reaction to my situation. This meeting was 6 months ago and thanks to more al-anon, reading, therapy, support from fam & friends, and focusing on me, I've been able to come to my own conclusion.

I shared this story because I believe it was more than a coincidence

Bekindalways

Thanks for responding to TobeC CaptainM. I thought the same thing stated in her/his post.

I'm afraid I have to be careful not to react with advice of, "AhHHH!! Get out!! Run! Now!" Although I know this isn't necessarily supportive as some aren't ready and may never be ready to get out of their relationship.

The recovering alcoholics do advise newcomers or relapsers to pour out the alcohol that they have and we codies certainly have some in common with the alcoholics but there are differences too.