Disappointment
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 612
Disappointment
I've waited all month to finally see my counselor. Scheduling and finances have made it tough. I made special arrangements for me to be away from home this am, under the guise it was a fitness related commitment. I drive an hour to the office and get there and the carpets are being cleaned. My check in paperwork isn't waiting for me like expected. 10 minutes later, a different provider comes out to tell me I don't have an appointment. I say, yes I do at 10:30. He says he's not sure what happened but he will text my doctor but that there are no appointments today. He apologized and I left. Ugly crying in my car as I'm so disappointed. I was so ready to get down to business and plan out my exit strategies work through some issues that are heavy on my mind and heart.
I understand things happen, but it never fails that if something like this happens, it will happen to me. That's how I feel. I'm at a loss and was so ready to talk out some issues. Thank you for reading my vent. Appreciate you all.
I understand things happen, but it never fails that if something like this happens, it will happen to me. That's how I feel. I'm at a loss and was so ready to talk out some issues. Thank you for reading my vent. Appreciate you all.
Last edited by thousandwords53; 12-03-2016 at 11:24 AM. Reason: Typo
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
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Oh, sweetie what a pain in the rear. I'm so sorry.
Do NOT give up, okay? The very fact that you have to make up a story in order to go address your mental wellbeing is all the proof you should need that something needs to change.
Get yourself some hot chocolate or something comforting, maybe take a walk and get some fresh air?
Sending you a hug.
Do NOT give up, okay? The very fact that you have to make up a story in order to go address your mental wellbeing is all the proof you should need that something needs to change.
Get yourself some hot chocolate or something comforting, maybe take a walk and get some fresh air?
Sending you a hug.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Oh, Bummer! Crying was the correct response.....lol.... That is the first thing I do...
I agree with Ariesagain.....some hot chocolate or something comforting...
Make another appointment as soon as you can arrange it...
Just don't give up......
I agree with Ariesagain.....some hot chocolate or something comforting...
Make another appointment as soon as you can arrange it...
Just don't give up......
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Oh, man, that sucks.
Make another appointment ASAP and if your husband asks, tell him you have a doctor's appointment. If he asks what for, tell him you have an ugly 180 pound tumor that needs removing.
Hugs, I know you're disappointed but this is a momentary delay, that's all. When you call to reschedule, tell them you are in crisis mode, that you showed up for an expected appointment today, and you REALLY need to get in ASAP. Lots of times there will be a way to squeeze in an appointment.
Make another appointment ASAP and if your husband asks, tell him you have a doctor's appointment. If he asks what for, tell him you have an ugly 180 pound tumor that needs removing.
Hugs, I know you're disappointed but this is a momentary delay, that's all. When you call to reschedule, tell them you are in crisis mode, that you showed up for an expected appointment today, and you REALLY need to get in ASAP. Lots of times there will be a way to squeeze in an appointment.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 612
Thank you all. Best friend to the rescue we met at Starbucks for a treat and I am smiling again. I won't give up, it just takes a lot for me to "jump" know what I mean?
And I could have probably told him I had a medical appointment but I wanted to avoid any questioning to flag his curiosity. I don't have medical so everything I do is out of pocket. Which would alert him it's important.
Lexie: you make me laugh. I will reschedule first this Monday.
You guys are the best!
And I could have probably told him I had a medical appointment but I wanted to avoid any questioning to flag his curiosity. I don't have medical so everything I do is out of pocket. Which would alert him it's important.
Lexie: you make me laugh. I will reschedule first this Monday.
You guys are the best!
Last edited by thousandwords53; 12-03-2016 at 12:21 PM. Reason: Left out sentence
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 251
Oh no...this has happened to me before...I was sitting waiting for my appointment with my therapist and they scheduled it at the other office (one that is way too far for me).
I left my AH for 6 months and went back to him too. It was good for a while, but then it got worse...much worse...but luckily I reached out to friends and this forum and asked for help and advice. I am very grateful that no one told me "you must leave him" or "Why did you go back/stay with him for so long..."
I ended up leaving him again..it has been 10 months now. Hang in there...at least you have support. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.....
I left my AH for 6 months and went back to him too. It was good for a while, but then it got worse...much worse...but luckily I reached out to friends and this forum and asked for help and advice. I am very grateful that no one told me "you must leave him" or "Why did you go back/stay with him for so long..."
I ended up leaving him again..it has been 10 months now. Hang in there...at least you have support. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 612
Originally Posted by SadInTX 
Oh no...this has happened to me before...I was sitting waiting for my appointment with my therapist and they scheduled it at the other office (one that is way too far for me).
I left my AH for 6 months and went back to him too. It was good for a while, but then it got worse...much worse...but luckily I reached out to friends and this forum and asked for help and advice. I am very grateful that no one told me "you must leave him" or "Why did you go back/stay with him for so long..."
I ended up leaving him again..it has been 10 months now. Hang in there...at least you have support. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.....
I left my AH for 6 months and went back to him too. It was good for a while, but then it got worse...much worse...but luckily I reached out to friends and this forum and asked for help and advice. I am very grateful that no one told me "you must leave him" or "Why did you go back/stay with him for so long..."
I ended up leaving him again..it has been 10 months now. Hang in there...at least you have support. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.....
Eventually we get it right
Knowing I am not alone gives me peace. Even though that means I'm not alone in this situation. Glad to have this community so we can support one another.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 612
Just an update (I'm sure you are all on the edge of your seat lol)
I had my appointment yesterday. It felt good, great, to sit down and talk with her. Caught her up on current events as well as the details of my failed separation last time.
I have a game plan, now. Which is awesome but effing scary as she wants me to have done this...yesterday. I discussed my problem with minimizing the situation and if I'm getting "fleas" from his problems. It was nice to hear it from a professional, particular to my story, confirm that I am sane, and doing the right thing.
She is a lot less "nice" than I am. And said, if this was a dog that bit my kids, he'd be put down. If this was a step father, he'd be out. So why do I allow it from their father?
She broke it down real simple for me ..."AH is an a$$hole, alcoholic bully,
narcissist, dangerous, and a sh!tty father"
...and I quote.
Phew.
So I am getting dissolution papers drafted at work next week. I will also be filing for a restraining order, turning in our firearms to the local station and making the kids and I comfy somewhere for a few days. He will be served at home, be given the chance to grab personal items, and he will figure it out from there. This enables us the least amount of upset for the kids - we can stay in our home. It is scary, yet less daunting to save and wait and find a place and plan plan plan for months.
I feel a sense of relief getting "permission" to do this. It will such a sweet relief to get some peace, to concentrate on the kids and get them some professional help as well.
Thank you for reading this folks!
I had my appointment yesterday. It felt good, great, to sit down and talk with her. Caught her up on current events as well as the details of my failed separation last time.
I have a game plan, now. Which is awesome but effing scary as she wants me to have done this...yesterday. I discussed my problem with minimizing the situation and if I'm getting "fleas" from his problems. It was nice to hear it from a professional, particular to my story, confirm that I am sane, and doing the right thing.
She is a lot less "nice" than I am. And said, if this was a dog that bit my kids, he'd be put down. If this was a step father, he'd be out. So why do I allow it from their father?
She broke it down real simple for me ..."AH is an a$$hole, alcoholic bully,
narcissist, dangerous, and a sh!tty father"
...and I quote.
Phew.
So I am getting dissolution papers drafted at work next week. I will also be filing for a restraining order, turning in our firearms to the local station and making the kids and I comfy somewhere for a few days. He will be served at home, be given the chance to grab personal items, and he will figure it out from there. This enables us the least amount of upset for the kids - we can stay in our home. It is scary, yet less daunting to save and wait and find a place and plan plan plan for months.
I feel a sense of relief getting "permission" to do this. It will such a sweet relief to get some peace, to concentrate on the kids and get them some professional help as well.
Thank you for reading this folks!
Last edited by thousandwords53; 12-11-2016 at 09:14 AM. Reason: Typo
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Attagirl! I could kiss your therapist.
If you haven't done so, please call your local shelter and hook up with an advocate. They can help guide you through the court process--even going to court with you for moral support. No reason to struggle through this alone. They are also terrific for safety planning, going forward.
You and the kids will be just fine, I predict. May be rough for a little while, but unlike your current situation, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
If you haven't done so, please call your local shelter and hook up with an advocate. They can help guide you through the court process--even going to court with you for moral support. No reason to struggle through this alone. They are also terrific for safety planning, going forward.
You and the kids will be just fine, I predict. May be rough for a little while, but unlike your current situation, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Well 2017 is shaping up to be a lovely year for you and the kids!!
I'm doing a big ole happy dance for you. Your plan sounds perfect, and I can't wait to hear about the heavy, HEAVY load that is off your chest here SOON! (some have compared it to surgically removing a boil from your arse - not me per say - but some
)
I'm doing a big ole happy dance for you. Your plan sounds perfect, and I can't wait to hear about the heavy, HEAVY load that is off your chest here SOON! (some have compared it to surgically removing a boil from your arse - not me per say - but some
)
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