Just so tired of feeling this way....
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
If he assaulted you, I HIGHLY recommend calling the police and getting a protective order. That will require him to leave IMMEDIATELY, and he will have to bring a police escort to pick up his stuff.
If you are reluctant to file a police report, you can go to your local family court and get the order only. I think a police report helps, but protective orders are generally pretty easy to get if there is physical violence involved.
I've worked in the DV field professionally for many years.
If you are reluctant to file a police report, you can go to your local family court and get the order only. I think a police report helps, but protective orders are generally pretty easy to get if there is physical violence involved.
I've worked in the DV field professionally for many years.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: East of Eden
Posts: 420
LexieCat is right on. You may also want to consider pressing charges. He is obviously volatile and unbalanced. Domestic violence is no joke. Get rid of this ego maniac and protect yourself in the process. You have a right to move on with your life as you see fit.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
rougelily, if he assaulted you, it would be wise to move beyond "hoping he does the right thing for once" and take steps to protect yourself. Restraining order? Finding out what your legal rights are regarding making him leave? Things are escalating, apparently, and you will need firm ground to stand on and knowledge of what you can legally do and not do.
ETA: I was posting at the same time as several others, I see!
ETA: I was posting at the same time as several others, I see!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 30
He went out to his car and fell asleep. It's pretty cold but he has a few blankets so I'm sure he's fine. I've been packing his stuff up so he has no excuses when he sobers up. He actually said to me that I deserved to be choked because I wouldn't shut up. He has completely lost it. I've never been truly scared of him before until now. I put a knife in my pocket and have my phone at my side so I am not defenseless if he comes after me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
curious why you think arming yourself with a knife is a better option than reporting someone who assaulted you and threatened you with further bodily harm to the police????? you are putting yourself IN harm's way...........please make the wise choice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 715
Huh? Assaulted you??? Oh HELL NO!
SNAP OUT OF IT GIRL! You need to report this incident and get him out and away ASAP. It's obvious that he is no longer thinking clearly. I need you to hear me when I say this
THIS IS NO LONGER ABOUT HIS WANTS AND NEEDS. Got that? Do what you have to do and don't you dare feel bad about it. He is a ticking time bomb and a knife in your pocket is certainly no match.
Personally I would have called his family by now to tell them to come get him, but that's just me!
Good luck! Keep us informed.
SNAP OUT OF IT GIRL! You need to report this incident and get him out and away ASAP. It's obvious that he is no longer thinking clearly. I need you to hear me when I say this
THIS IS NO LONGER ABOUT HIS WANTS AND NEEDS. Got that? Do what you have to do and don't you dare feel bad about it. He is a ticking time bomb and a knife in your pocket is certainly no match.
Personally I would have called his family by now to tell them to come get him, but that's just me!
Good luck! Keep us informed.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: east coast
Posts: 526
call the police. change your locks.
Honeypig, I loved your post!! I am 62 and I left- I feel like I am 21 and the world is my oyster. I can't believe how good it is on the other side. I am beginning to think most people are good, kind, and loving- but watch out for the turkeys- and I am not letting the turkeys in. All anyone really has is the present moment and that is enough for me. Thinking about the past or the future is always done in the present moment.
Honeypig, I loved your post!! I am 62 and I left- I feel like I am 21 and the world is my oyster. I can't believe how good it is on the other side. I am beginning to think most people are good, kind, and loving- but watch out for the turkeys- and I am not letting the turkeys in. All anyone really has is the present moment and that is enough for me. Thinking about the past or the future is always done in the present moment.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
rouge, strangulation is one of THE leading indicators of lethality in domestic violence situations. Even briefly cutting off the blood supply/airflow CAN result in death--even days or weeks later. In addition, it causes cumulative brain damage.
I TRAIN police and prosecutors on this stuff for a living. This is SERIOUS. When you said "assault" I was thinking maybe a shove or a slap--not OK, certainly--but this is a whole other realm of bad/dangerous/potentially lethal.
Please call the police, and go to the hospital to be checked out. No kidding. And get him out of there safely--police, protective order, whatever, but do NOT stay in his vicinity.
I TRAIN police and prosecutors on this stuff for a living. This is SERIOUS. When you said "assault" I was thinking maybe a shove or a slap--not OK, certainly--but this is a whole other realm of bad/dangerous/potentially lethal.
Please call the police, and go to the hospital to be checked out. No kidding. And get him out of there safely--police, protective order, whatever, but do NOT stay in his vicinity.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Oh, and I second the notion that a knife in your pocket isn't good protection. He's probably bigger/stronger than you, and even if you managed to stab him, suppose you killed him? Or that HE calls the police? I mean, it would be self-defense, but that isn't always clear to the police, and you could wind up going to jail. Pretty poor way to make a point.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,423
I agree with others--it is also a legal way to get him out of your house without giving 30 days notice, which the law allows in most states.
This is a dangerous situation rouge--I have also been choked and thought I could "manage" the situation. I'm lucky I wasn't killed or hospitalized--
when people are drunk and out of control, they do things they never might do sober.
Don't take the chance.
This is a dangerous situation rouge--I have also been choked and thought I could "manage" the situation. I'm lucky I wasn't killed or hospitalized--
when people are drunk and out of control, they do things they never might do sober.
Don't take the chance.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
R,
Hon, women are hurt and killed daily by DV. Please, please, please call the police. Do not handle this on your own. He does not fear you, so you saying you can take care of yourself is just not logical. Men who have addiction problems can loose their control and hurt you very bad without even recognizing it.
Please just do it and get him out of the house. Get the order of protection. This will give you some time to make some decisions.
Hon, women are hurt and killed daily by DV. Please, please, please call the police. Do not handle this on your own. He does not fear you, so you saying you can take care of yourself is just not logical. Men who have addiction problems can loose their control and hurt you very bad without even recognizing it.
Please just do it and get him out of the house. Get the order of protection. This will give you some time to make some decisions.
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