hopeful4

I really do understand. My X husband has very real depression and anxiety problems. I pitied him. I mothered him. I caught him every time he fell. I stayed until the alcoholism got so bad that he tried to choke me, and I kicked him out of the house. According to him, my fault.

The thing is, mental illness is just like any other type of illness. You have a choice to get help and treatment, or you will likely die from it, or live a miserable life from it. It takes commitment on your own part, no one can do it for you, or will you into it. It's hard work.

For my X the alcoholism is self treatment for the mental illness, one that is a desperate failure.

I hate to say this, but stop the pity. You are only making it worse. Do what his family did, form boundaries, and keep them. Then, and only then, when he knows he has no other choice, will be even consider that he needs to help himself.

Hugs.