What is Al-anon?HELP!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: la ca
Posts: 1
What is Al-anon?HELP!!!!!
Well I finally told my husband that my AL MIL neede to go, he talked to her and she said she had no were to go..... NO one wants her in there home for more than 2 days.
This happened yesterday morning, and BIL was scheduled to come that same afternoon, not sure if he did. Anyway I spoke to SIL and said that BIL had an argument which NIL was brought up in the argument, he mantioned something to the affect: that he felt bad cause his mother had to leave, which could of only came from MIL since husband had just talk to her this morning.
Anyway, my SIL says that BIL wants to split up, and I think it's because MIL told him what happen, and he feels compeled to help her. See MIL is not allowed in SIl home, she had many terrible experiences with MIL (MIL stold from her, accused her of cheating on BIL, even woke them up in the middle of the night pointing a knife at them asking them where was her money), and truly dislikes her.
My husband will do that, he will get frustrated and push me to the point to where I feel he is doing it on purpose, so he can have a justifiable reason to split up and go take care of his mom.
I mentioned this to my husband, and he truly believes I am right, he said he does not know what to do since she does not want to work, and insist that she has nowhere to go. I told him that I was okay with helping people who had a long term,plan but that MIL just wanted to live off us for the rest of her life. He again found an excuse for her, and all I said is we should go to an al-anon meeting.
Please tell me what al-anon is ? my husband said yes to it but for some reason thinks, that they will help up figure a way to help her. But if I am not mistaken it's not that correct?
This happened yesterday morning, and BIL was scheduled to come that same afternoon, not sure if he did. Anyway I spoke to SIL and said that BIL had an argument which NIL was brought up in the argument, he mantioned something to the affect: that he felt bad cause his mother had to leave, which could of only came from MIL since husband had just talk to her this morning.
Anyway, my SIL says that BIL wants to split up, and I think it's because MIL told him what happen, and he feels compeled to help her. See MIL is not allowed in SIl home, she had many terrible experiences with MIL (MIL stold from her, accused her of cheating on BIL, even woke them up in the middle of the night pointing a knife at them asking them where was her money), and truly dislikes her.
My husband will do that, he will get frustrated and push me to the point to where I feel he is doing it on purpose, so he can have a justifiable reason to split up and go take care of his mom.
I mentioned this to my husband, and he truly believes I am right, he said he does not know what to do since she does not want to work, and insist that she has nowhere to go. I told him that I was okay with helping people who had a long term,plan but that MIL just wanted to live off us for the rest of her life. He again found an excuse for her, and all I said is we should go to an al-anon meeting.
Please tell me what al-anon is ? my husband said yes to it but for some reason thinks, that they will help up figure a way to help her. But if I am not mistaken it's not that correct?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 9
Has anyone replied? I know a copyright/trademark infringement issue has people spooked ... but is anyone responding in private, possibly?
Maybe if I say at first that this site isn't an official al-anon site, but that there are members here who have lots of experience with it ... I can tell you a bit more. It's a wonderful program of action and support that teaches us how to concentrate on ourselves, not the alcoholic. The chaos that alcoholism distributes reaches far and wide .. and Al-Anon is a 12 step program that helps us learn about us, the illness and our own responsibilities. It teaches us we didn't cause alcoholism, can't control it and can't cure it. It teaches us how to let go of things we have no control over and to allow a peace of mind to enter ... even if only temporarily .. it's a process of life long growth and self-nurturing. It teaches us how to change our own behaviors and thinking patterns to be less destructive ... I know, most of us couldn't immediately acknowledge or admit that there were things about us that needed changing. We're not the ones who drink and act insane! But, the illness invades our souls and we react. How can we not be insane to some degree? I know I am! The 12 steps (taken directly from AA's Big Book .. Bill W's wife, Lois, is co-founder of Al-Anon) help us examine ourselves, our lives. I've learned so much about myself.
Look to Al-Anon's website for more information. They can help you find meetings to attend and you can order their literature directly from the site, if you wish.
Stick around here, too .. the support, understanding and experience shared here is amazing. Much is said that makes me think and look deeper into my soul and sometimes just being able to nod my head in acknowledgement of others' feelings is amazing, in itself. You're not alone.
Maybe if I say at first that this site isn't an official al-anon site, but that there are members here who have lots of experience with it ... I can tell you a bit more. It's a wonderful program of action and support that teaches us how to concentrate on ourselves, not the alcoholic. The chaos that alcoholism distributes reaches far and wide .. and Al-Anon is a 12 step program that helps us learn about us, the illness and our own responsibilities. It teaches us we didn't cause alcoholism, can't control it and can't cure it. It teaches us how to let go of things we have no control over and to allow a peace of mind to enter ... even if only temporarily .. it's a process of life long growth and self-nurturing. It teaches us how to change our own behaviors and thinking patterns to be less destructive ... I know, most of us couldn't immediately acknowledge or admit that there were things about us that needed changing. We're not the ones who drink and act insane! But, the illness invades our souls and we react. How can we not be insane to some degree? I know I am! The 12 steps (taken directly from AA's Big Book .. Bill W's wife, Lois, is co-founder of Al-Anon) help us examine ourselves, our lives. I've learned so much about myself.
Look to Al-Anon's website for more information. They can help you find meetings to attend and you can order their literature directly from the site, if you wish.
Stick around here, too .. the support, understanding and experience shared here is amazing. Much is said that makes me think and look deeper into my soul and sometimes just being able to nod my head in acknowledgement of others' feelings is amazing, in itself. You're not alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Sulphur LA
Posts: 47
Al_anon online outreach has some info you may be interested in.
http://www.al-anon.org/newcomer.html
There is also a link that will help you find a meeting.
If you take her into your home, you will probably be most interested in learning to detatch from her behaviour/drinking and how to set boundaries.
I feel for you. It is difficult to abandon family but how to you help someone that won't help themself? Perhaps someone in the group will have information about social services that may offer you some relief.
http://www.al-anon.org/newcomer.html
There is also a link that will help you find a meeting.
If you take her into your home, you will probably be most interested in learning to detatch from her behaviour/drinking and how to set boundaries.
I feel for you. It is difficult to abandon family but how to you help someone that won't help themself? Perhaps someone in the group will have information about social services that may offer you some relief.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
