Lizzy201

Wow!

So the weird behaviour could be that? Fires, food being stolen etc...

It's all speculation from my side, my brain loves order (read: I have to know. Always. Everything. All the time) <<< no codependency at all lol.

Refiner

Yes, it very well could be!

velma929

I had a great aunt who claimed to have food stolen. Auntie had dementia and was hiding food from thieves...and forgot where she put it...so of course it had been 'stolen.' Lather, rinse, repeat!

The human mind has a great capacity to justify or rationalize anything. Insisting he has to check on you because you are in a bad mental state is just one example. I had a would-be beau insist I was damaged, emotionally, and that had to be the reason I was resistant to forming a relationship with him. Uhm, no, I could see he had a problem with alcohol, THAT'S why I wouldn't enter into a long term (and long distance!) relationship with him. He was ready to marry *every* woman he dated a week or two after they met; and I suspect he doesn't understand why that doesn't make his current love interest feel special.

Berrybean

I dunno. But I DO know that there are 2 things that alcoholics need to sort out if they are going to genuinely be in 'Recovery '. The first of these things is the alcoholic drinking. The second is their alcoholic thinking. The first thing is what most of us think will be the hardest, but eventually realise there's a LOT of work to do after we've stopped drinking. It sounds to me like this man, sober or drinking, was still very much operating with his alcoholic thinking running the show. The lies, the insanity, the loss are all what I could have carried on with if I hadn't finally got desperate enough to find the willingness to really start working on changing my thinking.

I'm so glad you've extricated yourself from this crazy relationship. Hopefully he'll find the help he needs and eventually get willing.

atalose

Get the 2 year protective order, report any violations of it. Don’t befriend anyone on social media that you don’t know and for heaven’s sake cut off contact with the other woman. I’m sure she is just as sick as he is, 3 years of a long distance relationship, she didn’t know he was a drunk, she now knows you were involved with him YET she’s trying to sort things out with him??? wow!!!! Toxic people find other toxic people…………..rid them all from your life!!!

PhoenixJ

Ummmmmmm? BUMP!
Stay safe, keep safe, keep posting. Thoughts and prayers to you. PJ

Thomas45

I think I may have figured this one out today.

Does/did he work in construction? It is pretty common for some construction workers to keep empty tins of chewing tobacco for holding small nails or screws so that they don't get lost in their tool pouch. Maybe he found one of these tins while under the influence, and took a 'dip' of screws.

Who knows, stranger things have happened.

letitend

My xA made stuff up about me all the time. Pretty bizarre things. He would say I hated music. I don't. He told me more than once that my Dad was in Heaven looking down at me in disgust, and that my Dad had told HIM this. What a bizzare/wicked thing to say to someone right? Given the fact that my Dad had never even met him. He told me I liked little kids and had an aversion to them. Literally W.T.!!!!!! That was when I told him we were done the last time. I have blocked so much of his B.S. out that I don't even want to recall anymore of it, but the list goes on and on and on.

Just be happy you are free from this guy. He sounds like he is not only an alcoholic but unstable.

One of the more recent crazy things my xA said was that a girl was dancing in a nightclub and had plutonium on her purse. She said she touched him with a metal thing on her purse. Now he has plutonium poisoning in his arm (only) and he may need to get it amputated. Considering that plutonium is the most lethal substance on Earth, it is also the most controlled. For a woman to randomly have this on her purse, yeah, it's a crazy thought. I am not the only one he told this to either. I told him not to tell his new gf about the plutonium.

Lizzy201

No, he doesn't work in construction, he doesn't work at all! When that happened I tried to point out to him that he must have ingested the screws to start with, but he was adamant he hadn't swallowed any. Immaculate Ingestion, huh?

Anyway.

I'm about to post a where to next, comment.

I'm doing okay. i have simplified this down to:
- He's an alcoholic
- I'm not crazy.

It helps keep me from trying to figure out the why's of it all.