Lizzieloulou

It's been a week or two since I have been on here because I was enjoying a 'ceasefire,' and I was starting to trust again...silly me! During tonight's affray (whereby a chair was hurled through the air...not by me I might add) certain 'truth's' were uttered. He barked at me asking why I never want to sleep with him, and I replied "because I don't LIKE you!" It just came out, but you know what, I am glad! I usually say silly things...pathetic excuses, but my inner anguish took control and just blurted out the truth! After that he turned around in his chair and told me to get out. I am writing this from my bedroom...feeling very emotionally mixed up! I think a line has been crossed this time...it is difficult to 'un-say' something so drastic. Perhaps, to quote Winston Churchill " it is the beginning of the end?"... who knows? No matter how scary this all feels, I do, however, feel that little bit lighter after finally getting out my TRUE feeling! Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!

biminiblue

Are you in any danger? Is he violent? Throwing a chair is violent, by the way.

Is he under the influence? I think if he is, you should maybe call the police and tell them the situation.

Ariesagain

Be safe! Good for you for standing up for yourself.

I have never, ever understood why anyone thinks that acting like a whiny two-year-old is going to make their partner eager for sex.

Lizzieloulou

It has all gone quiet, so I think it is okay...thanks for your concern though! To answer your point Aries... neither do I? My situation isn't just about sex though...I haven't had relations for two years...it is about LITERALLY not sleeping with him! I just start to warm to him again and consider trying to share his bed, then he decides to drink, and I go straight back to square one. I just feel less and less for him. There is no intimacy, and he drinks our money away... what's there to like?

maia1234

Liz,
I am sorry for what you are going through. By the end of my marriage I didn't like my AXH either. Its sad because you "love" them, but you really can't stand them.

sending hugs my friend, stay safe.

FeelingGreat

Hi lizzie, don't waste too much more time on this. If you're in a position to move and you're not too attached to the house I suggest you start making plans.
No intimate relations in a marriage is not sustainable (unless you're a senior), and you could be starting a new positive life where you're not settling for a bit of peace in between his drinking bouts.

Lizzieloulou

Thank you Maia and feeling great. You have it bang on...loving and liking are separate things, and to maintain a relationship you need them both! I am now at the point where I want to move on...I just need to work-out finances etc. You wind-up being such a sad, lonely and resentful person... I don't want to be that person anymore!

NYCDoglvr

I knew it was time to go when I realized I no longer trusted or respected him. Stay safe!

Lizzieloulou

Thank you all for your insight and support. I know now that it is time...we have been in the same house all day, each in separate rooms with not a word said between us! It is always like that after a 'scene!' I have had enough... I just need to do sort some things out. I am just SO tired! Thank you all for being there for me...it means everything that I can share my problems with people who TRULY understand...thank you x