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Finally "getting" the whole Self Care thing

Old 11-07-2016, 09:54 PM
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Finally "getting" the whole Self Care thing

When I was my mother's full time caretaker before she passed away, I made sure to make time for myself to rejuvenate. So why didn't I do the same when involved with my exFiance? He was a lot more stressful and needed more from me than my mother who's nervous system was breaking down in front of her. The sad thing is that I noticed my lack or getting back in touch with myself while reading the SMART Recovery Friends and Family handbook.

The last couple months I've started to take care of myself. I started putting on make-up daily, even ordering Birchbox and Ipsy to have new things to play around with. I am using new facial cleansers and put on a mask once a week. That forces you to relax a little since you can't walk around your guy housemates with that on your face! This last week I started meditation.

Now that I finished my midterm today, I'm getting ready to watch Kingsman again with my coloring book to relax before I fall asleep. Zero is even getting in on the action, I'm taking him on two pleasure walks a day now.

What do you do for self-care? I'm always open to ideas.
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Old 11-08-2016, 12:26 AM
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Great thread !!

Hmmm what do I do for my own care?? Let me count the ways, sister!!

So many things...I am into good skin care and putting effort into how I 👗 And that's also a creative outlet... but it's a good mood lifter too...
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Old 11-08-2016, 04:43 AM
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I've been doing the 21 day, 20 minute meditation that was offered on this site. I really like it! I do gentle yoga stretches and am seeking a Tai Chi class. I have been spending more time with my mother, who is 91. She needs care, her house needs care, my AB who lives with her needs care (tho he resists it, mostly). After a few hours there, I am very tired. So I take your point, shockozulu. I am always, always interested in make-up, tho I wear very little anymore. I have been intrigued by Birchbox, but am wary of monthly subscriptions overall (other than coffee). How do you like it? P. S. Thanks for this thread. Would also like to hear more about how others practice self-care.
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Old 11-08-2016, 05:10 AM
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I do hot yoga most days, run, hike, walk my dogs. I go to AA meetings too and counseling.

Its easy to let a relationship become one sided....I have to ask for what I need and not just assume that the other person knows what I need.
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Old 11-08-2016, 05:28 AM
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So, so true, Frickaflip.
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Old 11-08-2016, 05:29 AM
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Yoga, bathing/showering with great smelling soaps and himalayan bath salts, journaling, reading, browsing through beautiful magazines, walking my dogs, taking the time to really look nice in the morning, eating healthfully and treating myself to delcious zero calorie vitamin waters, teas, coffees and such, lighting scented candles, etc.
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Old 11-08-2016, 07:40 AM
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Yeah - this is where I don't struggle so much anymore. It took some time & some dedicated practice but I have gotten GOOD with self-care!

DIY Facials & Pedicures
Acupuncture
Reiki
Meditation - both online & classes when I can find time/money
Yoga
Epsom Salts (extra Magnesium)
Catching up on checkups/medications/vitamins (I had really let this stuff go)
Netflix/hulu binges
Chocolate (there's always a stash at the back of the freezer)
Organic henna for my hair
Walking & walking meditations
Car Dancing
Random classes & seminars in my area (I check out our Natural Awakenings magazine every month)
Massages/self-massage
Detox/flushes every 3-4 months
Coloring mandalas
Reading for pleasure


I love these threads & start them often - here are some older ones with a lot of fantastic responses:


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...u-weekend.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ou-lately.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...you-today.html
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Old 11-08-2016, 08:28 AM
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shockozulu, in addition to the really great threads that FireSprite listed, here's a link to a thread I started a little while ago on a similar topic:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rsus-love.html

If you can find the book that I mentioned, either at your library or on Amazon (I bought it for $4 used, including shipping), you might find it steers you in some different ways, too.

It may sound silly, but for the past 2 days, I've been asking myself repeatedly "how would you act in this situation, what would you do, if you were someone you loved? What would you want your mom, your sister, to do?" And the answer is often so different than what I'd choose to do myself. If I was someone I loved, I'd rest more, pay attention more, enjoy more, and worry less about what gets done.

Along those lines, I've imagined that my body is "on loan", like a rental car. If I had to return it to the owner at the end of the year, how would I treat it? I'd put in quality fuel, maintain what needed maintaining, keep it clean, not drive it hard/beat the crap out of it. Again, that's fairly different from how I treat my own "vehicle"!

Maybe both those things are just weird and most folks here are on past that point, but for me, they are a really different way of looking at "taking care of myself."

I'm also doing the 21-day meditation series that another member mentioned. It's called "Creating Peace from the Inside Out: The Power of Connection". What I'm learning so far is that the very first connection I need to make is w/myself. Everything else comes from there. And that's really appropriate for me right now.

Hope you find something useful here, and best wishes for finding ways to take care of yourself that are really meaningful and healing for you, shockozulu.
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Old 11-08-2016, 08:49 AM
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Originally Posted by honeypig View Post
Along those lines, I've imagined that my body is "on loan", like a rental car. If I had to return it to the owner at the end of the year, how would I treat it? I'd put in quality fuel, maintain what needed maintaining, keep it clean, not drive it hard/beat the crap out of it. Again, that's fairly different from how I treat my own "vehicle"!
LOVE this, thank you so much!!

also: I just picked this book up yesterday at my library
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Old 11-08-2016, 11:42 AM
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I get outdoors as much as I need to - and that is OFTEN! No matter day or night, warm or crappy weather.

I am on day 8 of the Whole 30 cleanse and feeling pretty great / determined!

I quit smoking, finally. 8 days shy of 4 months.

I say NO whenever I want to, and am getting better about not feeling bad about it.

I joined ipsy. I get a present in the mail for 10$ a month and I love it.

I am calling my family more. I don't know when I turned into the non caller of the family. I don't want to be like that, so I'm changing it.

I'm taking my multi-vitamin daily rather than once a month.

I mad a list of doctor dental stuff I need to do, and I quit avoiding it. I am checking them off, one, every other month....which means a January root canal. EEK. But I've been avoiding it for too long.

I signed up for the annual 5k food bank benefit on thanksgiving morning. THIS is a big one for me. It's a tradition I started by myself - not with friends, family or boyfriends. 4th annual for me this year, and it feels really, REALLY good to do it before a large meal and football for the rest of the day.

I feel great - self care is so important!
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Old 11-08-2016, 03:11 PM
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I'm also doing the 21 day meditation! I have been trying to do daily meditation and struggled with it until I came across that link. I suffer from ADHD and doing this before bed has really helped calm myself down to sleep as well.

Firesprite, I also color mandalas. A friend of mine made a fantastic book inspired by his ten years in AA to inspire his work https://smile.amazon.com/Tribal-Tatt...dp/1523377887/
When I've had a hard day I pull out my Swear Word Coloring Book. I just bought the holiday edition in anticipation of the stressful time of the year lol

Maudcat, I like Ipsy a bit more than Birchbox but am giving it one more month to check it out. I've been leary of monthly subscriptions in the past but my experience with Ipsy and Barkbox (which my dog just adores and is his reward for helping me) have been fantastic. No double billing, quality items - I feel like I get my money's worth and not jerked around. As for the caretaking, I feel for you. I remember days I was so burnt out that I just wanted to crash after taking care of Mom. I finally forced myself to set aside an hour a night to watch an episode of mindless television on Hulu while knitting a basic pattern. Without that, I don't think I would have been able to hold it together.

Honeypig-I'm going to put in a request for Nina Wise's book in Kindle format at college library. I struggle with what you mentioned in your first post on your link as I also have ADHD so this books sounds very helpful.

This week I need to do go do research for my Constitutional Law research paper (our school requires IP verification to request interlibrary loans).

That's another thing. School is a lot busier (and harder) than I expected it to be this semester. I'm studying Constitutional Law, Counterterrorism and a course on learning to access and utilize the information in a Department of Homeland Security database which contains all terrorist attacks from 1980 to present. I can only imagine how harried I would be if my Arabic course hadn't been canceled!
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