Feeling very alone
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 384
Feeling very alone
Seeing those homes yesterday made this dream of mine feel real. The reality set in and my heart started pounding and I felt a flood of anxiety. I wanted to do more research to get a real idea of what I'll be getting myself into and as we know there are cons and disadvantages to everything...
My biggest realization is that I'll be doing this all alone. Even if things stunk or were stressful in the past at least there was someone else there to share the experience with.... I really feel as though I have no one, my family is estranged so I don't have them either
I know I can do this but I don't want to be scared the whole time. This "all alone" feeling is very strong. I am strongly missing having someone with me to tell me it'll be okay. I really hate being single right now. How did you guys do it? I want it to be mine and I want to do it on my own but I'm feeling discouraged by how weak I feel right now. I'm scared sh*tless.
My biggest realization is that I'll be doing this all alone. Even if things stunk or were stressful in the past at least there was someone else there to share the experience with.... I really feel as though I have no one, my family is estranged so I don't have them either
I know I can do this but I don't want to be scared the whole time. This "all alone" feeling is very strong. I am strongly missing having someone with me to tell me it'll be okay. I really hate being single right now. How did you guys do it? I want it to be mine and I want to do it on my own but I'm feeling discouraged by how weak I feel right now. I'm scared sh*tless.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 715
Good Morning.
My story. I was with my Xabf for almost a year when I bought my current home. It felt good to purchase something of my own. I had been renting a townhome for two years after I had gotten a divorce and I was anxious to purchase something that I could call home. Even though my ex did not help me financially he did help fix the house the way I wanted it to be. He would come here to paint, installed flooring, garden, put down a paver patio, basically whatever I wanted he would
do. Almost every single area of my new home was touched by him in some way. Although he didn't physically live here, he was here most of the time, had his own drawer and closet space, I always felt that this was our home instead of my home. After we split I contimplated selling this house. Too many memories here, every room was somehow touched by something he did and I felt I once again needed a fresh start. Instead what I did was redecorate. I took one room at a time and went at it. I made this place mine instead of ours. It feels good to take your life back! Do I stress about things going wrong, braking, not enough money to fix a major problem should it arise?? Of course. Do I sometimes wish I still had him around to help me with repairs? Yep! I know it's lonely, I hear that but believe me.... You will do it! You will get there! Take a deep breath and take the leap. You will be proud of yourself for doing it for YOURSELF in the long run. Change is scary but good.
Ro
My story. I was with my Xabf for almost a year when I bought my current home. It felt good to purchase something of my own. I had been renting a townhome for two years after I had gotten a divorce and I was anxious to purchase something that I could call home. Even though my ex did not help me financially he did help fix the house the way I wanted it to be. He would come here to paint, installed flooring, garden, put down a paver patio, basically whatever I wanted he would
do. Almost every single area of my new home was touched by him in some way. Although he didn't physically live here, he was here most of the time, had his own drawer and closet space, I always felt that this was our home instead of my home. After we split I contimplated selling this house. Too many memories here, every room was somehow touched by something he did and I felt I once again needed a fresh start. Instead what I did was redecorate. I took one room at a time and went at it. I made this place mine instead of ours. It feels good to take your life back! Do I stress about things going wrong, braking, not enough money to fix a major problem should it arise?? Of course. Do I sometimes wish I still had him around to help me with repairs? Yep! I know it's lonely, I hear that but believe me.... You will do it! You will get there! Take a deep breath and take the leap. You will be proud of yourself for doing it for YOURSELF in the long run. Change is scary but good.
Ro
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
It'll be okay. There is nothing quite like having your own space in your own home. We were always fiscally conservative when purchasing homes. Underbuying rather than overbuying, especially during the most recent housing bubble. I have never regretted that.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yeah, I'm thinking maybe you're being a bit overly ambitious, given your situation right now. I'm not saying you have a bad plan, but maybe buying a more modest place just to live in, and then selling it and buying what you've got in mind a bit down the road, when you're feeling like a more confident/competent homeowner, would be a good idea. You could buy with the idea of staying in it for only a few years, and spend the intervening time doing a really thorough research job on the real estate market and the logistics involved in your plan.
Just a thought. I think you're capable, but the experience/confidence that would help might take some time.
Just a thought. I think you're capable, but the experience/confidence that would help might take some time.
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