Moving on and hoping Alcohlic Wife gets help
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by sam1 
Problem is I filed for divorce. It seems like everyday is a new up or new down. The divorce could go thru pretty quick....and part of me feels like im making a mistake at times.....i have doubts but i know she is a utter mess.
You're in my thoughts
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 89
So another update..... was told by local friends that the STBXW was just a hammered mess at the local bar. Complaining about us breaking up and what I did to her to put her in this mess. Mostly anger vs remorse. The day prior was a pity party to me about where we are and she misses us. Everyone sees thru it though....even her family. They all say she is ruining her life.
The very next day she is "sober" or "semi sober" she is sweet and nice and trying to make her way back into my life. I have come to realize that even 30 days sobriety can not change someone if they are not willing. I will not take blame for her actions due to alcoholism and low self esteem. I understand now that treatment, counselling, etc is a mandatory step for recovery. This is not something very many people can conquer on their own. I have witnessed this and kept a distance as many of you nice people advised me to do on this board. Listen to words but look for actions. Some actions were genuine love.....many have gone down the selfish path (Its crazy because you can tell when they start drinking again) .
Everyday I'm getting stronger and I'm realizing that I can't fix her or force sobriety. Everyday I realize this battle is her's to own....I will support her for positive direction.....not blame shifting and denial. She is back hanging out with the drunk friend that encouraged all her bad decisions.... I have decided I will no longer accept this person in my life.
The forced sobriety was a breath of fresh air to see the women I love and adore.....now we are back to using alcohol for coping. I feel so bad for her battle with this horrible. horrible disease. I have so much love for her... I know deep down it's reciprocated. She is a very sick person....it could be a manic episode....or it could just be severe alcoholism.
Either way I have to push forward with what's best for me an my daughter. Maybe reconcile later in life....maybe a miracle happens before divorce. Either way I have let go to realize the recovery and desire to change is on her.
Much love and peace to everyone on this board. Pray for us as we move forward
The very next day she is "sober" or "semi sober" she is sweet and nice and trying to make her way back into my life. I have come to realize that even 30 days sobriety can not change someone if they are not willing. I will not take blame for her actions due to alcoholism and low self esteem. I understand now that treatment, counselling, etc is a mandatory step for recovery. This is not something very many people can conquer on their own. I have witnessed this and kept a distance as many of you nice people advised me to do on this board. Listen to words but look for actions. Some actions were genuine love.....many have gone down the selfish path (Its crazy because you can tell when they start drinking again) .
Everyday I'm getting stronger and I'm realizing that I can't fix her or force sobriety. Everyday I realize this battle is her's to own....I will support her for positive direction.....not blame shifting and denial. She is back hanging out with the drunk friend that encouraged all her bad decisions.... I have decided I will no longer accept this person in my life.
The forced sobriety was a breath of fresh air to see the women I love and adore.....now we are back to using alcohol for coping. I feel so bad for her battle with this horrible. horrible disease. I have so much love for her... I know deep down it's reciprocated. She is a very sick person....it could be a manic episode....or it could just be severe alcoholism.
Either way I have to push forward with what's best for me an my daughter. Maybe reconcile later in life....maybe a miracle happens before divorce. Either way I have let go to realize the recovery and desire to change is on her.
Much love and peace to everyone on this board. Pray for us as we move forward
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 141
Sam
As an ACOA - my heart is breaking for you AND your daughter.
Please make her safety and her happiness and her mental health your priority. All of these are jeopardized and usually damaged by living with an alcoholic parent. This. Is. The. Truth.
Praying for both of you.
As an ACOA - my heart is breaking for you AND your daughter.
Please make her safety and her happiness and her mental health your priority. All of these are jeopardized and usually damaged by living with an alcoholic parent. This. Is. The. Truth.
Praying for both of you.
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