letitend

So SR family, I just wanted to give everyone an update 6+ weeks post-break up with the xAbf. I am finally starting to feel more calm and sure of myself. Living alone, with just my son and myself, has been a very good thing for us. We are settling into a routine and a lot of the things I was worried about have passed without event. The house is so much more calm, clean and manageable. I have been very focused on my physical health as it was really slipping on/off throughout my entire relationship with the xAbf in my life. I was so depressed that it was really hard to think about myself. I was always worried about something and I feel that fear slipping away as things settle in.

I did try the online profile thing. I even met one person. However, I do not feel ready or confident enough to be in a relationship at this point. So, it was a learning experience for sure. But, I know I need to be confident so that I can be myself and be comfortable with someone else. I can only do that if I am mentally strong and physically healthy.
I have already lost 24 of the 75 lbs I needed to lose to be at a normal/healthy weight. I am feeling very good about that. It is really easy to do once I put my mind to it and focus on me. It is also so much easier to focus on myself when I do not have that extra noise in the background.

I really *know* that SR made such a huge difference in my life. Being able to read experiences of others going through the same turmoil and obstacles of living with an A was eye opening. It made me feel not alone. It made me *know* that I was awesome and that I wasn’t *doing something wrong*. I mean, in a way, I was doing something wrong. But I was not the cause of the drinking. I was never less of a person. I was never those things that the A told me I was. I accepted too little for too long. I will continue on this path of self-enlightenment. Thanks so much to all my SR family. I could not have done it without the support of you all.