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A Seemingly Neverending List of Things I Do Not Miss So this may or may not be helpful to those reading, but it feels cathartic for me to list these items out loud, especially after officially blocking my AexBf's phone number today (he texted me today after one month of NC). This is kind of word vomit, but I've kept this list in my phone for reference when I'm feeling nostalgic, weak, or completely unrealistic. Things I do not miss:
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I can relate to many of those. It is such a relief to read so many of these posts like this. Many of these really resonate with me. Thanks. |
Yep, Been there, done that. Keep moving forward, NC works, when you work it!! |
Well said gbriezy! Most of the above, but I have one more!...constant disappointment of living with broken promises! I think I will write myself my own list now! Best wishes to you x |
Oh my! I'll bet most of us could add quite a few bullets to that list. |
oh it sounds horrible and I bet you feel a lot stronger after writing it. |
Never making me feel like I am enough So many money problems; bill collectors calling day and night Your frequent irritability and freak outs over the smallest inconveniences You never buying me a birthday or Christmas present (excuse: too broke) Selfish and irritable Never feeling like you're on my team Unrealistic Acting like small favors are massive inconveniences Yup to all of these. The present thing is really bugging me now. I'm not that materialistic but now that all the dysfunction in this relationship is coming together, I see how the rights of passage and rituals I poo-poo'ed when I was younger, well, they mean something. And not getting anything means something too. :( |
Two to add: --ten year old daughter, terrified, waking me up in the middle of the night saying daddy is in her bed and won't get up --stepping into a lake of **** on the bathroom floor, first thing in the morning |
Oh yes indeed sauerkraut! Always forgetting to check the bathroom floor ( and loo seat!) for 'fluid!'...usually when I only have socks on or bare feet!..totally disgusting!! How appealing...how sexy...NOT!!..and they wonder why we don't want to be intimate with them?!!!! |
Wow, thanks for posting this list! I, too, can relate to many of these bullets. I have a few to add ... - Drinking when you have to interact with my family - Not making any effort to get to know my family or friends - Making me feel insecure when I don't get your sense of humor - Neglecting our dog - The smell of "alcohol sweat" when you sleep / wake up hungover - Almost never helping around the house and acting like you deserve a medal when you do one thing - Me constantly worrying when you're out late and if you'll drink and drive... again. - You never seemingly wanting to have a real conversation with me... ever - You zoning out in front of the TV and/or your phone constantly I feel better already and I really like the idea of keeping a list handy for moments of weakness. Thank you! |
Telling me you're staying at a friends or taking a cab because you know it's what I want to hear, and driving home anyways. Waiting for a text or call all day as the knot in my stomach grows and grows. Wondering what you're doing, knowing you're out drinking, somehow shocked we are "here" again. Putting my life on hold because you don't like to make plans in advance. Waiting and hoping each day you would want to see me and keeping my schedule open just in case. Worrying about what you're doing when you're out. Remembering all the stories you have told me from the past and feeling sick. Loving you so much when you're sober and hating you so much after you pass that drink marker and become "him". The love and hate are still both there, but the daily disappointment and attachment have subsided. |
Kudo’s for officially blocking his phone #. !!!:You_Rock_ |
Originally Posted by CaptainM
(Post 6192630)
- Drinking when you have to interact with my family - Not making any effort to get to know my family or friends - Making me feel insecure when I don't get your sense of humor - Neglecting our dog - The smell of "alcohol sweat" when you sleep / wake up hungover - Almost never helping around the house and acting like you deserve a medal when you do one thing - Me constantly worrying when you're out late and if you'll drink and drive... again. - You never seemingly wanting to have a real conversation with me... ever - You zoning out in front of the TV and/or your phone constantly |
- Bad promises. I left before it got very bad as I couldn't stand the above and the promises stank of broken the second they came out of your mouth. |
Gosh lots I could repeat from above. Plus No more mysterious unexplained email accounts and personal devices being hacked. No more unexplained damages to vehicles No more being terrified of sexual intimacy. No more being embarrassed to go out in public or social events together. No more having to soothe and calm and care for a child that isn't mine, because her mom isn't here. No more isolation from the normal people and the ability to engage in the outside world. No more having to hear......why are you with someone like that. No more lying on behalf of a drunk when they can't hold up thier end of something. No more constant manipulation. No more walking on eggshells. No more digging into savings to put out a financial fire. No more constant underlying stress and tension. No more feeling crappy about yourself for being here. |
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