hearthealth

There was another incident last night. Why is supper time so difficult?
Today I called DV. They stated it's abuse. He stated nothing has changed in the past two years. That's correct. He hasn't changed. He still blaming me. He's also doing things like breaking a dish pulling kids hair. Stated it was cracked that's why it broke and we would get salmonella poisoning. That's why it broke easier.
His family will never 'forgive' me because he will always blame me. I'm scared with this next processes. I will be villified. He will turn the kids against me like he turned his family against me. I want the kids to be happy and safe. I don't want another dinner and evening ruined.

firebolt

I'm so glad you called the DV center. Keep calling and talking to them! You are going through abuse, and so are your kids, and they will help! They will help you make a plan for if / when things get worse.

And...if need be, please PLEASE call the police or get out, FAST and then call the police.

Look, it doesn't matter if he blames you, or if his family blames you. It doesn't matter if they vilify you, or don't forgive you for whatever wrongs he cries to them about. None of that changes what YOU KNOW!!

I have a feeling that your kids will understand - it sounds like he's terrorizing them too. Breaking dishes and pulling hair is intimidating and unacceptable. I know how easy it is for us to minimize these incidents - it's how we survive them, but at some point we have to admit that it is real and needs to change if we want to get out, and if we want kids to get out in semi decent shape.

My heart goes out to you. Keep calling the DV number - have a plan together, you cannot be too proactive about your safety.

sauerkraut

HH,
You don't have to live like this. Your kids don't have to live like this. And, regardless of what his family might say, you're not doing him any favors by allowing his abuse to continue. I know; I was in a similar spot and have been out almost a year now. You can do it. I'm glad you're finding the resources that can help you find your way to the life you want.

dandylion

hearthelath....I am glad you called DV. It was the right thing to do. Please keep talking to them.
Believe me...nobody else will vilify you for taking care of y our self and your children. They--we--will support you and respect you!!!!!

letitend

Please get out soon. Pulling the kids hair? I couldn't let that transpire. He will not be able to turn those kids against you for you rescuing them from this type of treatment. Please keep calling the DV hotline. Next time he does something physical, call the police and then RUN.

atalose

I’m glad you called DV that was a major step. Keep calling them as needed. And try not to project “what might happen” down the road. Lots of highs and lows when ending a relationship, ending one with an A can be volatile. That’s why it’s important for you to keep in touch with DV as often as you need.

((hugs))

hearthealth

The last two suppers has been done before H gets home from work. DD has actually been eating all of her supper. I'm wondering if nerves were getting to her when dad was at the table. Maybe it's too early to tell. The first night the children questioned it. Today they didn't. H has not remarked at all. He can drink his beer until his ready to eat. Supper was already been partially cleaned up. If he's drunk at the table it only effects him. So much for family dining but a least the children are safe. It's a temporary change until I can move on.