ACOA resources?

Old 10-25-2016, 12:10 PM
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ACOA resources?

Working on myself to get to the bottom of some things.
My father is an ACOA
So I am an ACOA of an ACOA?
(He never drank or any other substance issues, but the traits/history are all there)
Any online resources you all can point me towards? Or even Stickies here I've possibly missed?

Thanks in advance!
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Old 10-25-2016, 02:06 PM
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We have an ACoA subforum Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

It can be a bit slow but you can always check out Family member of Alcoholics as well: Family Members of Addicts and Alcoholics (Parents, Sons and Daughters, Siblings) - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 10-25-2016, 04:53 PM
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Here you go

Adult Children of Alcoholics

Al-anon has meetings that focus on just ACoA issues, but those are tricky to find. Sometimes they indicate ACoA in the directory, other times you have to actually show up to see what the meeting is focused on.

http://www.al-anon.org/find-a-meeting

Mike
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Old 10-25-2016, 04:57 PM
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Thank you!! I appreciate it.
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Old 10-25-2016, 11:14 PM
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Thousandwords... I figured Mike would probably chime in, but ACoA isn't exclusive to alcoholic families, but has extended to dysfunctional families as well. I understand completely what you are saying though. It has everything to do with the behaviors within the family. My mother is an ACoA (both of her parents). She has never touched alcohol or any other drug in her entire life, but guess what? She has passed on the dysfunctional behavioral traits of her family of origin. So, in this way, I consider my entire family ACoA's, because in all reality, our behaviors and family dynamics mirror that of an alcoholic's family.... We are just as dysfunctional.

I understand that this can be a very difficult concept, being that there wasn't any alcoholism in my immediate family, but I always thought, what the heck is wrong with me!!!! Then I came to SR for help in the alcoholic relationship I was in and read Codependent No More, when it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. This is me! Yes, it is disheartening at first, but it quickly became a relief to finally have an explanation for the insanity in which I was raised. Now that I have the answer, I can finally heal and change my behaviors, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
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Old 10-25-2016, 11:47 PM
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Originally Posted by caretaker88 View Post
Thousandwords... I figured Mike would probably chime in, but ACoA isn't exclusive to alcoholic families, but has extended to dysfunctional families as well. I understand completely what you are saying though. It has everything to do with the behaviors within the family. My mother is an ACoA (both of her parents). She has never touched alcohol or any other drug in her entire life, but guess what? She has passed on the dysfunctional behavioral traits of her family of origin. So, in this way, I consider my entire family ACoA's, because in all reality, our behaviors and family dynamics mirror that of an alcoholic's family.... We are just as dysfunctional.

I understand that this can be a very difficult concept, being that there wasn't any alcoholism in my immediate family, but I always thought, what the heck is wrong with me!!!! Then I came to SR for help in the alcoholic relationship I was in and read Codependent No More, when it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. This is me! Yes, it is disheartening at first, but it quickly became a relief to finally have an explanation for the insanity in which I was raised. Now that I have the answer, I can finally heal and change my behaviors, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
Thank you for your reply! I can relate to your story very much. It's insane to me sometimes, that now in my 30's I am *Finally* figuring out so much about myself. It's amazing really. Overwhelming.
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Old 10-26-2016, 07:36 AM
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thousandwords.....some people go a lifetime and don't figure themselves out.....
So...be grateful that you are doing it now!
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Old 10-26-2016, 10:23 AM
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I recently picked up a copy of "Loving an Adult Child of an Alcoholic" by Douglas & Deborah Bey. It looks like it addresses the types of things you're asking about here, but I haven't had a chance to read it yet.
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