JessicaNAJ

I feel like a fool. Last night, for four hours, I tried to get ahold of my AH. Worrying that he might be dead somewhere (always thinking the worst). I reached out for support and got it here but I still worried.

FINALLY - at 11:00 p.m. he answered his phone and guess what. He was FINE - drunk, but ok. I feel so stupid. Just as predicted. A bunch of wasted energy. I cried when I heard his voice, just because of the sense of relieve. I've have got to get over this s@#t. It's not worth it.

He was supposed to get his car out of my name yesterday. Another foolish move on my part to actually think I could trust him to get something done. I tried not to "caretake", but I'm left with no choice. Friday, I'm going to take a few hours off work and get it done myself. (If he answers his phone...lol) If he don't answer his phone, I will find him and pull him by his pony tail and make him come with me just to get this thing out of my name!!!

bikewench

lol...


Your being smart...and practicing good self care.... and you haven't lost your sense of humor.. ;o)


Have a good day Jessica..

Peaches04

Hi Jessica...I feel for you! I know what it's like to waste so much time and energy worrying! And then they are fine and haven't thought 2 seconds about us... ugh! That is one of the things where I am really relying on my HP..when I start to get in that downward worrying spiral..I borrow from AA and the One day at a time thinking...I decide...for this hour...i will not worry, for this next movie I will not worry...it works for me so far. But, those worries come sneaking in and I just try and say "here you go God...thank you!"

Gracey

That is great that you have a sense of humor through all this turmoil......It is a great idea to take care of yourself and get that car out of your name.......I know no-one needs unecassary bills......

Veronica

Jessica - I can relate to the worrying. My light bulb moment came about a month or so ago. I asked my AH to move out and he got his own apartment. Even though he had moved out, he typically called me 2-3 times a day at work just to say hi. One day, he called me at 9am and then I didn't hear from him the rest of the day. My stomach started turning knots around 2pm and I left work early, deathly afraid something had happened to him. Suffice it to say, I worked myself up for a good 4 hours - going to his apartment, banging on his door, going back to my house to get the spare keys to his car (thinking his spare apartment key would be in his car), banging on his door some more, walking around his apartment building to see if he was on his balcony...and finally, getting his apartment manager to unlock his door (at that point I was in a complete frenzy, certain that he had hurt himself and was inside his apartment alone and dying...yes, yes, a total codie). The apartment manager unlocked his door (otherwise, I would have called 911). He was passed out on his bed. I left - and cried in relief. Driving back to my house, I took a personal inventory and realized what I had become. That was my light bulb moment - the moment I decided to start taking care of myself.... =) So, yeah, Jessica, we have all been there too. Make last night your light bulb moment and start taking care of yourself. Whenever I start to worry about my AH, I stop myself and ask who is worrying about me... answer: no one. If I don't worry about myself, no one will.