Breathalyzer question
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Breathalyzer question
AH showed up this am for his scheduled visit. I has a pretty good feeling he was drunk. Had him blow in the breathalyzer to prove me wrong and he blew a .10. Lots of excuses of course. My question is can he get a lower reading by blowing a little in the breathalyzer and then seem to suck the air out? Just for my own reference.
I refused to let him drive, but he was not allowed to stay either. Had some one come get him and his car.
I refused to let him drive, but he was not allowed to stay either. Had some one come get him and his car.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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hi Kids, might be worth asking the manufacturers of the breathalyser, but based on the results holding his breath didn't help him, and it might be a good indicator of whether he's been drinking.
I'm sorry he couldn't stay sober for the visit, but at least you know.
I'm sorry he couldn't stay sober for the visit, but at least you know.
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Location: Freedom USA
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Can you have the visitation revoked until he's not drinking? That must be be very scary for the kids to witness him drunk. Whether or not they talk to you about it, it's affecting them and their sense of security on some level. I grew up with a parent who had issues and witnessed a lot. It still affects me as an adult.
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Being in a situation where a breathalyzer is involved/required/needed is a really terrible place to be. My parents did it with me for awhile, when I was living under their roof and it was awful for everyone. I tried many times to "beat it" - usually by timing my drinking so that I could drink enough water to be sober by the time they tested me (yes, this is possible).
Can you try the system where a device is attached to his car and he must blow into it and be 100% sober before the car will start? If you are breathalyzing him, is it court ordered or otherwise required? It doesn't sound like he is interested in not drinking, so perhaps official and stronger methods would be a great idea.
What help are you getting for being the SO of the alcoholic? If the kids are old enough, how are you helping their understanding of the situation?
My heart goes out to you. Good luck.
Can you try the system where a device is attached to his car and he must blow into it and be 100% sober before the car will start? If you are breathalyzing him, is it court ordered or otherwise required? It doesn't sound like he is interested in not drinking, so perhaps official and stronger methods would be a great idea.
What help are you getting for being the SO of the alcoholic? If the kids are old enough, how are you helping their understanding of the situation?
My heart goes out to you. Good luck.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
Maybe I wasn't clear. I had him use the breathalyzer because I felt that he was drunk even though he was denying it. it was away to confirm what I had already known but sometimes I'm in denial. he had a breathalyzer on his car last year after his DWI. That got taken off because of good behavior by the court. My lawyer and I have discussed that is part of the visitations I could incorporate breathalyzer or something else as part of the condition of him having supervised visits.
There is no formal visitation in place. We are currently separated and it is really based on when I am okay with him coming to visit and so far that has worked. He has no desire or interest to keep the kids overnight or to see them for more than a few hours.
As for counseling my 9 year old DD Started counseling this year. Her teachers are aware as I keep them informed. My 6 year old DS is pretty unaware of when AH is drinking. He likes to spend his time with his video games or playing in his room. I'm sure later on his dad's addiction will come into play. However he is so young and is just used to how his dad is now.
Of course tonight when AH called he was thankful that I didn't allow him to drive. That he was going to give me some time to not be so angry before he comes over again. However I wasn't even angry and him tonight. Then it changed to manipulating, saying that it seems that I am happy with him not being sober and that I enjoy seeing him fail at being sober. I know that he is trying to just pull me back in and I'm staying strong for the kids.
There is no formal visitation in place. We are currently separated and it is really based on when I am okay with him coming to visit and so far that has worked. He has no desire or interest to keep the kids overnight or to see them for more than a few hours.
As for counseling my 9 year old DD Started counseling this year. Her teachers are aware as I keep them informed. My 6 year old DS is pretty unaware of when AH is drinking. He likes to spend his time with his video games or playing in his room. I'm sure later on his dad's addiction will come into play. However he is so young and is just used to how his dad is now.
Of course tonight when AH called he was thankful that I didn't allow him to drive. That he was going to give me some time to not be so angry before he comes over again. However I wasn't even angry and him tonight. Then it changed to manipulating, saying that it seems that I am happy with him not being sober and that I enjoy seeing him fail at being sober. I know that he is trying to just pull me back in and I'm staying strong for the kids.
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I would keep COPIOUS records of his dates of showing up, his failed blows and the record of what he blew and when...
I didn't have a formal parenting order for a long time either and THANKFULLY was able to get the breathalyzer written into the FINAL parenting plan as a MUST before he can see the kids....
I am so sorry you and the kids had to experience this with his showing up drunk but thank goodness you got him to blow the breathalyzer and have the results to show court that he is showing up drunk to see the kids.
I would be sure that you notify the police EVERY time he does this.
I didn't have a formal parenting order for a long time either and THANKFULLY was able to get the breathalyzer written into the FINAL parenting plan as a MUST before he can see the kids....
I am so sorry you and the kids had to experience this with his showing up drunk but thank goodness you got him to blow the breathalyzer and have the results to show court that he is showing up drunk to see the kids.
I would be sure that you notify the police EVERY time he does this.
Originally Posted by KidsR#1 
Maybe I wasn't clear. I had him use the breathalyzer because I felt that he was drunk even though he was denying it. it was away to confirm what I had already known but sometimes I'm in denial. he had a breathalyzer on his car last year after his DWI. That got taken off because of good behavior by the court. My lawyer and I have discussed that is part of the visitations I could incorporate breathalyzer or something else as part of the condition of him having supervised visits.
There is no formal visitation in place. We are currently separated and it is really based on when I am okay with him coming to visit and so far that has worked. He has no desire or interest to keep the kids overnight or to see them for more than a few hours.
As for counseling my 9 year old DD Started counseling this year. Her teachers are aware as I keep them informed. My 6 year old DS is pretty unaware of when AH is drinking. He likes to spend his time with his video games or playing in his room. I'm sure later on his dad's addiction will come into play. However he is so young and is just used to how his dad is now.
Of course tonight when AH called he was thankful that I didn't allow him to drive. That he was going to give me some time to not be so angry before he comes over again. However I wasn't even angry and him tonight. Then it changed to manipulating, saying that it seems that I am happy with him not being sober and that I enjoy seeing him fail at being sober. I know that he is trying to just pull me back in and I'm staying strong for the kids.
There is no formal visitation in place. We are currently separated and it is really based on when I am okay with him coming to visit and so far that has worked. He has no desire or interest to keep the kids overnight or to see them for more than a few hours.
As for counseling my 9 year old DD Started counseling this year. Her teachers are aware as I keep them informed. My 6 year old DS is pretty unaware of when AH is drinking. He likes to spend his time with his video games or playing in his room. I'm sure later on his dad's addiction will come into play. However he is so young and is just used to how his dad is now.
Of course tonight when AH called he was thankful that I didn't allow him to drive. That he was going to give me some time to not be so angry before he comes over again. However I wasn't even angry and him tonight. Then it changed to manipulating, saying that it seems that I am happy with him not being sober and that I enjoy seeing him fail at being sober. I know that he is trying to just pull me back in and I'm staying strong for the kids.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
What would notifying the police do?
He honestly has no interest in having visits more than seeing them at home right now.
Tonight he was sober and in a good frame of mine. But who knows what tomorrow holds. I told him we still need to proceed with the mediation. He wants to wait another 6 months, but I know there is no guarantee of where he'll be at then. If he's sober, awesome. It will only benefit the kids!
He honestly has no interest in having visits more than seeing them at home right now.
Tonight he was sober and in a good frame of mine. But who knows what tomorrow holds. I told him we still need to proceed with the mediation. He wants to wait another 6 months, but I know there is no guarantee of where he'll be at then. If he's sober, awesome. It will only benefit the kids!
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Location: USA
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Originally Posted by KidsR#1
What would notifying the police do?
He honestly has no interest in having visits more than seeing them at home right now.
Tonight he was sober and in a good frame of mine. But who knows what tomorrow holds. I told him we still need to proceed with the mediation. He wants to wait another 6 months, but I know there is no guarantee of where he'll be at then. If he's sober, awesome. It will only benefit the kids!
He honestly has no interest in having visits more than seeing them at home right now.
Tonight he was sober and in a good frame of mine. But who knows what tomorrow holds. I told him we still need to proceed with the mediation. He wants to wait another 6 months, but I know there is no guarantee of where he'll be at then. If he's sober, awesome. It will only benefit the kids!
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