Not comfortable around people drinking alcohol. Anyone else?

Old 10-10-2016, 05:34 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Not comfortable around people drinking alcohol. Anyone else?

I'm in my mid-30s now, but I've always felt this way. I know where it comes from - my dad sober was wonderful and drunk was mean and violent. I watched alcohol turn him into a monster every night.

My dad is the only person in my entire life that ever hurt me after drinking and yet I can't separate that from other people. It's like, I sit and watch them drink and just feel the anxiety soaring. It's like sitting there literally waiting for the room to explode. I'm on high alert, listening for any chance in voice decimal or slur or stumble. The adrenaline just kicks in and I'm on high-alert. It doesn't matter if they're even having no more than a glass, if they're smaller than me, or old and enfeeble.

It's no way to live. Mostly I've just avoided social outings, but that's no way to live, either. I've started therapy, and trying move past this and start to have a healthier, more fulfilling social life.

I don't drink myself, for the same reason, just see alcohol and this poison that turns people into monsters. So, maybe I don't "get it". I understand that I have a very limited experience. Other people tell me they're still themselves no matter how much they drink. But, with my dad, I know it was different, he was a different person. So I wait for that to happen to others. Maybe it's a matter of learning to trust others, to know I can feel safe around others. But I'm not sure how to do that.
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Old 10-10-2016, 05:58 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2016
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I did not have alcoholic parent, but alcoholic ex husband. He never really drank in front of me - only in secret.

I have found that lately I have very little patience with intoxicated people - I.e was stuck on a boat with bunch of couples with kids, several couples got hammered (both mom and dad), I could not help but think how in the world they would drive home, and they were not watching kids one bit.....I felt like I needed to get out of there pronto

IMO responsible grown ups should never drink to the point of slurring words. We all have done it in college, once you are over 25 - it's time to act like an adult.
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Old 10-10-2016, 06:18 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2016
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I grew up with an A mother and being around drunk people (unless I was drunker and didn't notice) would make me angry, it still does. I believe it's a stress response and normal considering my childhood. I'm hyper sensitive around it as well but I've noticed that with time it becomes easier to discern who I can socialize with. Not everyone gets fall down black out pass out drunk but they do tend to hang out in groups so it may seem that "everyone" drinks like that.

I stopped going by what other people said and started listening to how I felt. If someone told me they were fine but I was uncomfortable, I would leave. Most are pretty respectful of how you feel, I don't make a big deal out of it, they express sadness to see me go and that's that. It was nerve wracking at first because all I could think about was what THEY would think but it was a much bigger issue in my head.
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Old 10-10-2016, 06:26 PM
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I'm a sober alcoholic and I just don't enjoy people when they drink. I like people just the way they are and as far as I can see alcohol subtracts from people and does not add
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Old 10-10-2016, 06:44 PM
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As a recovering alcoholic I have no problem being around a normal drinker who has a cocktail or two. But any more than that I quickly leave.
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