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First alanon meeting

Old 10-09-2016, 01:23 AM
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First alanon meeting

I am taking everyone's advice and going to my first meeting this afternoon as I am child free (they are at their dads). There is no number to contact so I am just going to turn up... I am quite nervous about it but what have I got to lose?

And now I am going out for a run. My therapist said that this week I needed to go for a run, go to the cinema (did last night - just call me Bridgette Jones) and watch my son play football which I did yesterday.

I am 43 years old and need to be told what to do! That's how crazy living in a crazy situation can make you!
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Old 10-09-2016, 02:17 AM
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dailystruggle, I'm glad to hear you've made the choices you mention in your post. We get so caught up in taking care of others, or even worse, in trying to manipulate and control everything around us so as to stay "safe", that when somebody says "what do you yourself want/like/feel?", the answer is "well, gosh...I don't really know!" I can relate, have been there and am just beginning to find some answers to those questions in the past year or so.

I hope you do go to the Alanon meeting. There is no need to call ahead, so don't worry about not having a phone number. In my experience, usually new members are offered a sheet w/phone numbers and sometimes email addresses so that you can contact a fellow Alanon-er for a cup of coffee, a phone or email chat, or any other support you might need between meetings.

Don't know if you've done any research into Alanon, but here is the site http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ if you have questions or would just like to know a little more going in. There is also a section of the stickies devoted to Alanon here at SR http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-al-anon.html.

Please know that you do not have to say a word if you don't wish to; there will be no pressure on you to share or to do anything else that you're not comfortable with. Most of the posts that I've seen from people who've been to their first meeting make mention of how accepted and supported they feel, and how wonderful it is to be among others who "get it" in a big, big way.

There are 3 other things I'd like to share w/you from my experience as a newbie in Alanon:

1) Although all Alanon meetings will focus on the same principles, there are different formats--some meetings are "step study" meetings, where one of the 12 Steps is the topic each meeting. Some are "book study" meetings, where a particular book is used and a reading from it is the topic each time. Other meetings may rotate thru the weeks, featuring a speaker on week 1 of the month, a Step on week 2, a slogan or saying on week 3, and so on. No one format is "best"; it's just what you find most useful , and it may take several meetings for you to get a feel for that.

2) Again, although all Alanon meetings focus on the same principles, you may find that some meetings feel more comfortable to you than others. You may prefer a larger or smaller meeting. You may prefer a meeting that breaks into small groups for discussion, or you may prefer one where everyone stays together throughout the meeting. And simply b/c meetings are made up of people and people all have their own character and personality, you will find that the "flavor" of various meetings can vary quite a bit. Again, experience will point you in the way that is best for you.

3) Reading some Alanon literature was very helpful for me in understanding how Alanon works. Amazon has TONS of used Alanon books for a fraction of the price of the new ones. Your local library likely has some Alanon books, and I also know that at least some meetings have group literature that you can borrow, so no financial expenditure is necessary if money problems are part of your life.

Let me just slip in the standard Alanon recommendation to give it 6 meetings before you decide it's not for you. It can take a couple of tries to find the meeting that is a good fit.

I hope you'll post afterwards and let us know how it went. Again, I'm glad you're making this choice for yourself.
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Old 10-09-2016, 05:39 AM
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Good for YOU, ds! I know I had to force myself to do things that didn't feel "normal" or "comfortable" at first. Even when things feel weird, give it time. As you said, we've gotten used to living in a very ABNORMAL situation. It takes time to adjust--months or more, usually--before what other people take for granted feels like something we can handle and deserve.

hp has great suggestions up there in terms of getting started with Al-Anon.
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Old 10-09-2016, 06:19 AM
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Honeypig checked all the boxes with regard to Al-Anon. Just wanted to throw in my two cents: I have applied the things I learned in Al-Anon to every aspect of my life. The fellowship has been instrumental in helping me understand more about alcoholism and all of its ramifications for the families it impacts. Please go to a meeting. It could really be helpful. Peace.
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Old 10-09-2016, 06:22 AM
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P.S. I would also like to add that, while I didn't understand a lot of what people were saying in the early days of attending meetings, I loved the peace of the meetings. That, in the beginning, was why I kept going.
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Old 10-09-2016, 08:00 AM
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Al-anon has been a fantastic help to me. Saved me from crumbling into an insane wreck of a person.

Hope it is of comfort to you.
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Old 10-10-2016, 09:00 AM
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Best of luck at your meeting! Also remember to try out some different ones in your area if you are unsure of your first one. I noticed there were some I went to that I didn't get as much out of, and some that felt like "home". You will find what fits you best. Through these dark times Alanon has kept me sane and even allowed me to laugh sometimes, make new friends, and look around the room to realize we are all in this madness together.
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Old 10-10-2016, 09:51 PM
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Originally Posted by dailystruggle1 View Post
I am taking everyone's advice and going to my first meeting this afternoon as I am child free (they are at their dads). There is no number to contact so I am just going to turn up... I am quite nervous about it but what have I got to lose?

And now I am going out for a run. My therapist said that this week I needed to go for a run, go to the cinema (did last night - just call me Bridgette Jones) and watch my son play football which I did yesterday.

I am 43 years old and need to be told what to do! That's how crazy living in a crazy situation can make you!
How did your meeting go?
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