alwayscovering

AH was always very athletic. He was always so good about exercise and diet. Way better than me anyway. Several years ago he kinda stopped doing all that triathlon business because ya know-vodka.

Today he was very upset I guess he realized he'd gained a lot of weight (about 50lbs) He said "why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"

ERH?

He said his skin looks terrible. I didn't say it but thought 'really? It looks tons better. -No ruddiness'(is that a word?)

Apparently, all the asking, crying, begging, pleading, screaming for him to get clean wasn't some kind of warning that his health was going downhill?

Maybe he's starting to see some of the damage his drinking has done to him.

firebolt

I dunno - it sounds to me likes hes blaming you for him gaining weight.

Not himself, not overeating, not a sedentary lifestyle, not vodka. You.

I would not bank ANY amount of hope that this is a sign he is close to any sort of rock bottom. My XABF went through a similar weight gain panic....we ate salads for dinner every day for a few months off an on to make 'us' feel like we were doing something about both of our weight gains....

The drinking ramped up without pause. Cause that's what it does.

EDIT - it looks like he IS sober from your other posts - MY BAD!! And that is GREAT!

I'm still buttsore he blames you for the weight gain....and the lack of blaming alcohol, or himself is still concerning!

Maudcat

ASEF - Always Someone Else's Fault. A's should have it tattooed on their foreheads. Then they could just point to it. Save everyone a lot of time and trouble. Keep your head up. You're doing great!

LexieCat

One's powers of observation are not at their peak when one is half in the bag most of the time. Most alcoholics experience a lot of shocks when the beer goggles come off.

alwayscovering

Lol it appears so. He's been going to the gym at 5am like he used to. He said I haven't felt this good in years! Wellllll maybe if you hadnt been living in the bottom of a vodka bottle for the past few years...I'm trying not to be an a-hole so I don't say much of anything. I just try to be supportive.

I didn't really feel like he was blaming me really but apparently I should have said "ugh you're getting fat." I wouldn't do that. I just thought it was amusing he seems to be noticing all the things I've been seeing the last few years.

honeypig

And realistically, what do you think the outcome would have been had you said "gee, hon, you're getting a bit rotund, a mite chubby, dearest"?

What does HE think he would have done if you'd said that? I'm guessing that not a lot ELSE you said had any effect...

Hopefully he'll continue w/the clear vision.

thephoenixrises

My ex also tried to start working out again-it was just a blip between binges. I wouldn't hope too much or read anything into what he's doing-keep doing what you need to do for you!!

alwayscovering

I am. I hope he really does stick with it but I'm not holding my breath.

I think it was more of a shock to him that he let himself go...

He didn't stop drinking because of his appearance he stopped because our son started asking what kind of mood he was going to be in when we got home. That crushed him. I wish he was doing it for himself but at least he's doing it. He's also going to a substance abuse counselor so I'm hoping that the other stuff will get worked out there.