One Year Ago Today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
One Year Ago Today
One year ago today, I was finally clearing the cobwebs out of my head after leaving my now STBXAH and moving into my own apartment. Those first few weeks, I slept an average of 11 or 12 hours a day. At the urging of my perpetual bachelorette friend who had watched me spin my wheels in frustration with STBXAH for YEARS, I set up a very basic profile on a dating website during those first few weeks with the aim of just finding someone to have some FUN with, because fun had been in such short supply for so long.
One year ago today, I was shaking my head in disbelief, two days after a very casual first time "meet and greet" with a guy I met on that dating site turned into him exiting his vehicle at our public park meeting place with a glass of beer in his hand. (Yes, really.)
One year ago today, I logged back into that dating site, intending to deactivate my account, because ain't nobody got time for some dating site that attracts guys who drive to dates with glasses of beer in their car.
One year ago today, I sent one last message on that site to a guy who seemed funny and interesting. We traded several messages on that site during the day, and took the big step of trading real, actual email addresses. A week later, we went on our first date. And today, we are still together.
Who'd have thunk it? Certainly not me!
One year ago today, I was shaking my head in disbelief, two days after a very casual first time "meet and greet" with a guy I met on that dating site turned into him exiting his vehicle at our public park meeting place with a glass of beer in his hand. (Yes, really.)
One year ago today, I logged back into that dating site, intending to deactivate my account, because ain't nobody got time for some dating site that attracts guys who drive to dates with glasses of beer in their car.
One year ago today, I sent one last message on that site to a guy who seemed funny and interesting. We traded several messages on that site during the day, and took the big step of trading real, actual email addresses. A week later, we went on our first date. And today, we are still together.
Who'd have thunk it? Certainly not me!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
LOVE this post! It is truly amazing how much can change in a year. I remember how unsure you were about all of these changes. Your summary makes it sound so easy but I remember how many hundreds of baby steps you took!! 
Your post reminds me how every meditation or yoga teacher I've ever had has taught me that when we desire things in life we have to make ROOM for them . That we can't have what we don't reach for or make room for.
Your post reminds me how every meditation or yoga teacher I've ever had has taught me that when we desire things in life we have to make ROOM for them . That we can't have what we don't reach for or make room for.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
And lord knows I was not looking to make room for THIS! But I'm sure glad I did. And most of all, I am so very glad that this relationship has allowed me plenty of time and space to continue my own recovery and growth. I have protected that time and space, and my gentleman friend has never once given me a hard time about it.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Every time you call him your Gentleman Friend I can't stop hearing Blanche Devereaux's voice in my head talking about her "Gentlemen Callers".......
Seriously though, I think your point is the cool part... we can't ever know what we're holding ourselves back from when we are too afraid to change/make room. I'm really SO happy for you!
Seriously though, I think your point is the cool part... we can't ever know what we're holding ourselves back from when we are too afraid to change/make room. I'm really SO happy for you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Wisconsin, once you got out of the house and free of AH, things really started changing, didn't they? I'm glad I got to be here to watch the story as it happened, and I suspect the best is yet to come!
I do remember your post about the beer-glass guy--OY VEY!!
Congratulations, great big hugs, and best wishes for a beautiful, wonderful, expansive, fabulous year to come!
I do remember your post about the beer-glass guy--OY VEY!!
Congratulations, great big hugs, and best wishes for a beautiful, wonderful, expansive, fabulous year to come!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Thank you, my friends! I still have much healing and recovery ahead of me, but I look back on that year I spent holed up at home with a holy terror of a 3-year-old who I couldn't take ANYWHERE while STBXAH was working hundreds of miles away and I am so grateful. All the growth and healing and grieving I did during that year made a lot of my present state of mind possible.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
It happens when you least expect it or are looking for it. I had the same experience with someone showing up on the first date with a large Big Gulp Styrofoam glass filled with alcohol.
Then one day innocently enough I was going to a new restaurant. Packed. Waiting lines for tables. I quickly figured out that they were taking larger parties to clear the lines. If you were single, you were kind of screwed.
So figuring this out I approached a woman that was waiting like I and many others were. I explained what I saw and asked her is she wanted to join me in dinner to give us a chance at getting called quicker. We got a table, got to talking and are dating 2 months later.
It was and is so nice to find someone that is easy to talk to, you can feel things click easy when you first meet. Turns out she had just moved here, she had sold her practice and had a teaching physician position at the local teaching hospital. She lives like 5 minutes from me. She also had been alone for 2 years.
Just a whole list of easy to click things we knew we have.
Trust me, there are are normal folks out there to meet.
Then one day innocently enough I was going to a new restaurant. Packed. Waiting lines for tables. I quickly figured out that they were taking larger parties to clear the lines. If you were single, you were kind of screwed.
So figuring this out I approached a woman that was waiting like I and many others were. I explained what I saw and asked her is she wanted to join me in dinner to give us a chance at getting called quicker. We got a table, got to talking and are dating 2 months later.
It was and is so nice to find someone that is easy to talk to, you can feel things click easy when you first meet. Turns out she had just moved here, she had sold her practice and had a teaching physician position at the local teaching hospital. She lives like 5 minutes from me. She also had been alone for 2 years.
Just a whole list of easy to click things we knew we have.
Trust me, there are are normal folks out there to meet.
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