He's so confusing
 

This kind of an update to my post moment of weakness:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-weakness.html
Basically states that in the last three weeks of his sobriety, he's been pretty distant from me.

My RA fiance got home from work last night after a 12 hour shift. He came through the door wanting to chat about his day etc. When we settled on the couch after DD went to bed, he was trying to be closer with me. He was very mindful of my feelings and how I wanted to spend the evening. I got a little sick before bed (I don't think dinner was agreeing with me) and he took the dog out, tidied the kitchen and got our bed ready. He was being very thoughtful and sweet and consoling me when I wasn't feeling well. Half way through the night I woke up to him spooning me (we haven't slept like that in well over a year).

I woke this morning to him making me a coffee, DD was already fed, and our dog had been walked.

All day he's been trying to be cuddly, playing with my hair, rubbing my back, asking if there's anything I'd like to do and trying to ensure he's not "boring" me.
He's asked if I'm upset with him and I'm just acting how I've been acting for what seems like a week now. Minding my business and doing my thing and being cordial and kind. I'm not being weird- but different than I was three weeks ago.

It feels like he's being very codependent abd worried about me or upsetting me. He's being so sweet and thoughtful.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone or we've totally reversed rolls. I haven't been acting mad or like I'm upset with him. We joke and still talk about things very normally.

What the heck is going on?

Perhaps, he is just being a normal thoughtful husband?

I hear, in normal relationships husbands may act like this on a usual day, not necessarily when they are needy/guilty/manipulative

Alcoholics in early recovery can be all over the place and very needy - case in point XAH - he goes from hating my guts to offers of shoulder rubs, doing nice things and cooking food for me.

I am learning to not to take any of this personally.

Kissed byFire....Dollars to doughnuts he is looking for the horizontal tango....

Suddenly being very helpful and playing with the hair are sure signs!

The link that I gave you in my other post gives articles on what to expect in early recovery......

Here's hoping Nata.
Once upon a time this was the norm. He was very thoughtful. Over time he still is a little thoughtful...
but in the past three weeks he's been extremely distant so this is out of no where. I just started my "lady time" and he went out to grab some snacks for us to watch a movie later and came home with aleve and chocolate for me.
Throwing me for a loop! Lol.

That link you sent had a lot of helpful articles. I really like the resources and insight Peggy gives to both sides.
I wouldn't doubt that he wants to do the "horizontal tango," but under current circumstances, he knows it can't happen.
Peggy did write that early recovery is a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm going to try to keep grounded. I've already just been on a scary rollercoaster and even though I still am here and there, need to keep my sanity and focus.

As I read your post, my immediate thought was that he was wanting sex too.

Why "can't" it happen? I'm certainly not suggesting you have sex if you don't desire it, but wasn't it just a day or two ago you were sad because there was no intimacy?

Seems to me he's behaving in the way you've missed. Why not enjoy it?

I mentioned above to Nata that he had gone to get me Aleve and chocolate today because its my "lady time." -so that's why he knows it can't happen.
My first thought would have been that he's looking for sex as well but he knows it can't happen so his mood is kind of throwing me off.

I'll just enjoy it while it's here.