ham

Hi!

Member for 4 days!
My husband is an alcoholic and is in day 4 of treatment.

I need some tips on how I should prepare the house as far as
removing all alcohol, wine glasses, etc.

I have given up alcohol and do not have an urge to drink just
because it is in the house. We do have friends and family that
come over that may like to have a drink. I have mixed feelings
about having alcohol in the house. I think if it is easily available
that it will be too tempting for my husband when he gets home.

Please, tell me what you think.

Thanks, ham

bikewench

Hey Ham..
Welcome to Sober Recovery...

I think I would ask my husband what he needs in regards to protecting himself..

That way he can empower himself.... and I wouldn't be taking responsibility for his using.

Zoey

I agree with Bikewench. I feel it is good to let them make choices. If someone treats me as if I know best, it makes me more thoughfull, and more apt to make a good choice. (sometimes??)
You will prob get lots of different advice.
Will you be going for family week at treatment???
Have you done your 4th step in Al-Anon???
Welcome to SE, this is a great group, wonderfull help here.
Best Always clancy46

ham

Thanks bikewench!

Thanks Clancy46! So far all the advice I have been given
has been the same. I get to see him next Sunday.
Family week is the 3rd week of treatment. I have all the
details and do plan to go.

As far as Al-Anon, I have not been to any meetings.
This site was my first step. How do I do meetings
on the computer. At this point, driving to a meeting
would be hard. Any suggestions?

Thanks, ham

redrose0729

we have alanon meeting here on monday nights. look for the time and join in. you have to sign up for chat. It is in the chat room
Rose

KelKel

Ham
here is a link to a schedule for the meetings held here...
There are a few you could attend...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=39702

Have you registered for the chat room?
Then you can click on the "Enter Chat Room Here" link that is on the schedule of times..

ham

TY Rose and Kel!

ham

gelfling

Hi Ham,

Things sure have changed. My husband went into rehab 17 years ago and his counsellor sat down with me and gave me a list of what I had to get rid of in the house. That included things like vanilla, listerine, rubbing alcohol :andy: and the like.

I think the approach of asking him is giving him the ability to practice sobriety and allowing him to use his own judgement in these matters.

Grace, kathy

ham

TY, kathy!

My husband is voicing frustration with the
facility. Complaining about food, rules, his
couselor, etc. He is used to being in charge.


For example:
He is a big Aggie fan and he was very happy
that he was going to get to watch the game
after his 2 days of detox.
Half way thru the game, there was an Alumni
meeting and they turned the game off. This
really mad him mad.
I guess it is normal for him to complain a bit.
He does not have his wine to mellow him out.
He apologized to me about complaining. I just
told him that I am sure they have rules and are set up
like they are for reasons and that he will
probably have a better understanding of
the set up as he moves thru the process
of change. I encouraged him to not hold
things in. If things made him mad that he
should voice his aggravations. I also was
sympathetic about how he felt.

I hope he has a better day!

Thanks, ham

ham

I would like to get a book to read.
I went to the book store listing on
the Codie store. So many choices.
Any input?

Thanks, ham

Hadenuff

hi Ham,
Hang in. its not easy. the phone calls with complaint of what life is like in rehab are likely to get worse before things get better. I'm not a fan of rehabs, been in 6 and only made it through to the end of my scheduled treatment twice. Challenges are faced, dealing with others in recovery, and doing all this without alcohol. and before I really surrendured I always picked up as soon as I got out anyway.
my family had to really be firm and let me know I was on my own in my recovery. Being that I hated rehab, just wanted to leave most of the time, and most of the time checked myself out againt advice. One time I had to walk almost 20 miles just till I could find public transportation cause the place was so far away.
But once I really wanted to stop hurting I did whatever I needed to do to stay sober. having alcohol around was not a factor, it was tough but I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to be drunk.
Hang in
H

ham

Thanks Hadenuff!

I just got off the phone with my husband. He said he feels much better this
morning. I am glad!

ham

Veronica

Hi Ham! I've been where you are. Someone said things get worse before they get better (re rehab) - that was my experience too. My AH's first week or so in rehab was horrible. All of his problems were being discussed in his group sessions and it was really hard for him to face reality sober. Plus, we could only talk on the phone for 10 minutes once a week and had weekly visitation for 2 hours on Sunday.... it was tough. We wrote a lot of letters and to this day, I still read what he wrote. Hang in there. Alcoholism is an evil, evil disease.

As far as books, I highly, highly recommend Codependency No More by Melodie Beattie. It's an amazing book and the author has so much insight! I found the book incredibly helpful and it has given me the tools I need for getting back to me. I am currently reading the sequel...I don't think the sequel is nearly as good though.

Lorelai

Hi Ham !
Glad to see you posted in this forum. Codependent No More - great book. It was the first thing that started to open my eyes to my problems.

The best thing you can do for both of you is to be good to yourself and let him handle his recovery. Keep reading and posting. There's lots of great information and tons of wisdom here. I'm glad you're here.
Hugs - L

ham

TY Veronica and Lorelai!
I will order it today.

My husband called this morning and sounded so
much better and he said he felt a lot better too.

I talked to one of the counselors just to touch base.
He said that he is doing very well and will move out
of primary tomorrow and be assigned to his permanent
case manager.

I will be joining the al anon meeting tonight. My first.
To be honest, I don't know what to expect.

TY everyone for your support! ham