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Old 09-11-2016, 09:08 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
ask me to not do something wben i was drinking and i wanted to do it more.
ask me to do something when i was drinking and i wanted to do it less.
Yep, XAH told me many times during the last year or two we were married that he "was going to get sober, just not on YOUR schedule!" Well, I bought that for a while, gave things time, b/c truly, I didn't want the upheaval and fear that divorce represented to me.

Eventually, though, we divorced on MY schedule b/c HIS "recovery" schedule pretty much meant never.
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Old 09-11-2016, 09:26 AM   #22 (permalink)
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HIS "recovery" schedule pretty much meant never.
You don't know that. It certainly MIGHT be "never"--which is why it's not a good idea to hang around on the off chance it actually happens--but truthfully, EVERYONE gets sober on his/her own schedule.

With my first husband I happened to get lucky, in the sense that he was ready about the same time I was close to throwing in the towel. That was sheer coincidence, though--not attributable to something I did. If I did ANYTHING for him, it was passing along the copy of the Big Book I'd gotten from a co-worker, and convincing him to try ONE meeting. It didn't "take" at that time, but it made enough of an impression that after a few more false starts based on his own efforts he decided what he needed to do.
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Old 09-11-2016, 09:36 AM   #23 (permalink)
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You're right, Lexie, I DON'T know that it means never. Miracles DO happen.

But I'm not waiting for a unicorn to come touch either him or me w/its horn and fix everything. (Not waiting for it to poop rainbows on me, either! )

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Old 09-12-2016, 05:39 AM   #24 (permalink)
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My AW is the same way - and many times she's admits it. Mostly she says, "I'll just do the opposite just to p*ss you off!" Good partnership, eh??

Quote:
Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
ask me to not do something wben i was drinking and i wanted to do it more.
ask me to do something when i was drinking and i wanted to do it less.
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